So I want to keep this to 1-2 comments so I’m gonna be broad and trust folks to fill in the blanks. On the one hand, yes, it is the right of persons and by extension groups to determine self identity, and this includes the words used to refer to them. Nicknames are a neutral and fairly universal example. Your mother or childhood friends may call you “scooter” or “princess” or some other name that you would get upset if most people called you- but you are ok with certain people doing it.
If a very large person introduced themselves to you as “Tiny” or “Blobbo” then you can presumably call them such. If you met a very large person and started calling them those nicknames without them telling you to or despite then telling you not to, that would generally be disrespectful, and most of us probably have names people might call us which we wouldn’t be happy to have stuck and used by them let alone most people. So indeed- like the “n word debate” members of a group have self identity.
On the other hand, like the Nword, and different from “nicknames,” slurs apply to an entire group and not everyone in a group feels the same. Not all black people are accepting of the use of the N word even by other black people. It is up to individuals in a group and by extension the group to define self identity. Those outside the group can make their own judgments, but with slurs, there is often a history of hate and injustice that in my mind makes the appropriate conclusion for members beyond that group the slur applies to prudent to determine they shouldn’t use a word with such negative history and context. I do feel it is not the place of those outside a group targeted by hateful language to determine how those in the target group should feel about the word or use it. It is enough to know that wether other people use that word or not, that your use of it is a choice that reflects you. I tried to do 1-2 but I’m going for 3 I guess…
To the other hand of this though- it is not impossible to hate yourself or your own group. I’d think on the internet we’d be well aware people can hate themselves. Is there no prejudice in Mexico by Mexicans against Mexicans? Do things like colorism, regional or ethnic differences, socio economic status etc. not exist in any country or among any group?
So while I’m not saying that this person is “racist” I am saying that the argument “I can’t be prejudiced etc because I AM…” is flat. Have you never encountered a female misogynist? A woman who has contempt for her own gender, sees her gender as flawed or inferior or subservient or such?
No one has ever joined a terrorist group or movement against their own nation or people right? So I mean- there is nuance to the subject but being from “X group” doesn’t automatically mean you can’t be -ist of some sort against that group, but it also isn’t the place of others to define others self identity.
If a very large person introduced themselves to you as “Tiny” or “Blobbo” then you can presumably call them such. If you met a very large person and started calling them those nicknames without them telling you to or despite then telling you not to, that would generally be disrespectful, and most of us probably have names people might call us which we wouldn’t be happy to have stuck and used by them let alone most people. So indeed- like the “n word debate” members of a group have self identity.
So while I’m not saying that this person is “racist” I am saying that the argument “I can’t be prejudiced etc because I AM…” is flat. Have you never encountered a female misogynist? A woman who has contempt for her own gender, sees her gender as flawed or inferior or subservient or such?
No one has ever joined a terrorist group or movement against their own nation or people right? So I mean- there is nuance to the subject but being from “X group” doesn’t automatically mean you can’t be -ist of some sort against that group, but it also isn’t the place of others to define others self identity.