The joyful adolescent arrogance. While contemplating how much better and more intelligent you are than everyone else.. did you ever consider… Perhaps people can watch things because they want to and not because they are following trends? Perhaps you can like something that happens to be trendy and not simply BECAUSE it is trendy? Perhaps while you are calling those you are as guilty of “group think” names, did you consider that NOT trying something because a group is hyping it up is still allowing a group to influence your decisions?
At the end of the day wether we choose to like or try something that other people like is our choice. We won’t like everything that other people do and we likely won’t hate it all either.
I regret to inform the “original thinkers” of the world that there are seldom any original thoughts or actions left and you are just doing what everyone else or loads of other people already or or already have- you’re simply picking arbitrary lines in the sand to reassure yourself and project to others that you aren’t “one of them.” In cases where one talks about the “idiots” or the “sheeple” etc. this self othering is usually a way to reinforce a self image that one is better than others. Smarter, more “real.” It’s an act of self soothing against insecurity and not knowing where you fit most of the time. It annoys you that everyone seems to be talking about their new favorite show or film or whatever, and “you didn’t ask or care…” but when you go out of your way to shout all over- especially online- that you aren’t participating- no one asked. No one cares.
Being “that guy/girl” doesn’t make you individual or unique or counter cultural or more intelligent. Asides the scores of other people who “didn’t watch that” or “don’t do fads” you’re just the opposite side of the coin. Instead of embracing what is trendy you reject it simply because it is trendy wether you might actually like it or not. Instead of spouting off about this new thing you’ve found to enjoy and want to share with others you’re spouting off about not taking part. In many ways worse even- as the person who is watching the popular show or talking about how much they love the new popular flavor of food is at least possibly trying to share something positive with others and provide an opinion to help people decide if it is for them. You are just being negative. You have no opinion to share on that show or product or whatever because you haven’t tried it.
If someone asks your opinion or asked about it- you can say you haven’t tried it, that’s fair. If they ask why you might tell them. To volunteer why when no one asked is superfluous. You just want to get a reaction or make the conversation into one you can be central to. Other than that what can you say on the subject? You can’t dislike what you haven’t tried- it’s reasonable to be able to have an idea of what you might like without trying. I’ve never been murdered or eaten a live baby otter but I suspect I wouldn’t like either and am not interested in trying them to find out for sure. So sure, if you don’t like super hero films skip ant man 17 or whatever. You know you don’t like super hero films. The entire world doesn’t need to know or care.
So of course context is key. Talking to a friend across a table isn’t the same as posting to a public internet venue. Audience. So I get that it can be frustrating. Who hasn’t been there? Every magazine and website and all your friends and seemingly everyone is talking about the new thing. You’re sick of hearing it. What’s more, each one keeps pressuring you. Your siblings, coworkers or people at school, strangers you meet, media, and most of the internet. You say you haven’t tried it and they, likely in an over excited or vaguely cult like way stat with the “really?!” “Omg why?!” “No you HAVE to..” “promise me…” and no matter how many times you say no or that you are busy or have other priorities or aren’t interested… they often don’t stop. You can explain as much as you want and many will wave away your reasons and tell you “no. You can. No you must..”
And if it was JUST one person or two people then you’d probably be ok. But it feels like every person or every other person. And then just seeing the thing mentioned makes you cringe. When it comes up in a discussion you are already waiting for the script- someone will ask you your thoughts etc. and you’ll say you haven’t seen it and a scenario like I outline about will play out and you’ll end up needing to resist and justify and sit through the whole pitch. Each time. Or you’ll fear it is coming. Each time. So you’re frustrated and you feel like the entire world is trying to shove this down your throat. So maybe you think you’ll just post to your place of choice- preempt the entire thing and let the world know you haven’t taken part and won’t. Stop asking. Won’t happen.
Except the world doesn’t care. Not only are most people never going to see what you wrote or won’t remember or connect it to you so you will still have all the same things happening, but your mention of it will not only likely bring the topic up but will call like a beacon to many fans- especially rabid ones, who will either go through the whole pitch trying to convince you that you do what to participate, or will tear into you. As a matter of fact- most of the time people who say things like this know this and WANT IT. It’s like the “militant” or “vocal vegan” or so many others who know that they are saying things that tend to elicit strong feelings from many and they want to engage those people.
Why do you do it? Usually fairly 50/50. Almost half the time it is attention starvation. Unable or not caring to differentiate “good attention” and “bad attention” and just wanting to be paid attention to. These sorts of declarations tend to get attention and you likely know that when you make them. The need to go against the group, the self superiority, it’s all antisocial. The type of outlook most often developed by those who feel hurt and rejected by society so use antisocial behavior to cope. It isn’t that people don’t like you- you don’t like people. You aren’t somehow off putting or odd, people are dumber than you. Etc.
The other almost 50% of the time it’s power. People without power or who feel powerless often like to manipulate others. Get reactions. Wether it is a laugh or applause or anger or whatever else-
Getting a reaction from people is a form of power and those who need to feel power and don’t have better ways to do it tend to resort to such things to feel some form of control. Getting a reaction from people and engagement validates us- people are paying attention to us, we are worthy of attention. We are powerful. People that agree reinforce our positive feelings in ourselves and give us feelings of community or power. People who disagree are “idiots” and so we can mostly let their words roll off of us or even “prove” to use that everyone is dumb or has bad judgment etc. it’s all very self soothing and ultimately silly.
At the end of the day wether we choose to like or try something that other people like is our choice. We won’t like everything that other people do and we likely won’t hate it all either.
The other almost 50% of the time it’s power. People without power or who feel powerless often like to manipulate others. Get reactions. Wether it is a laugh or applause or anger or whatever else-