In fairness the women often know little to nothing of the men. The men may have told them things, but the sorts of women who can have a man donate their life savings just by speaking usually has heard many things from men that aren’t true. I’m rich, I’m poor, I’m married, I’m not- these sorts of things are usually paying for fantasy.
The reasonable person assumes one doesn’t give money they can’t afford to spend for entertainment. Now, of course many people can be addicted to entertainment, have poor impulse control or allow their fantasy inner world to project onto reality. It’s sad but- put yourself in those shoes.
You make a living selling fantasy, that is what your customers buy. The fantasy that they could talk to someone like you or that someone like you notices and pays attention or understands them, a fantasy they’ve concocted where you are perfect for each other, whatever. And let’s be clear- that is what it almost always is. As little as these sorts of personalities often may know about any random fan, the fans tend to know less about them. Who they really are, what they really like, where they live or went to school, names of friends and family, blah blah. So if you’re picturing some life with someone you don’t actually know based on whatever truth or mask you do know… that’s not even remotely realistic. You’ve created an image- a fantasy that you can project onto that person of your idea of who they are, the person you want or is “perfect.”
Their job usually involves not breaking those fantasies because that… is why you’re there usually.
So not all female entertainers sell such fantasy, but let’s not mince words, most people are aware when someone is trading in flirtations and teases and sexuality and such. I am not condemning anyone who does. It’s valid work- obviously it is in demand, and people pay for all sorts of services out of want or need or convenience that they cannot do themselves or cannot get in their lives another way that works for them. Massages for example, a therapist is often a confidant and advisor and someone to vent to or bounce ideas off of, you may have someone else shave or wax you, you might hire a ride somewhere or pay movers or someone to care for your children and play and teach them, you may even pay for sperm or eggs or someone to carry a child, any number of things.
And that’s fine. Or one is as fine as any other. Paying for a friend isn’t usually seen as aspirational but lots of people do it in lots of ways. People pay for dates to events, we start getting extra weird when sex and romance get involved. It’s often “sad” or “pathetic” or even illegal to pay for sex. Vibrators and dildos are common and lord knows probably most men masturbate when they are without sex to their threshold and use any number of things from hands to toys to home made contraptions like the fifi or liver box etc. we can pay people to make and sell objects for sex and we can pay people to put on a show and watch but- societies often draw hard likes at paying for sex and even up to that point shows and toys and things that deal in fantasies and gratification often carry stigmas and prohibitions.
But really what is any worse about calming than stripping and what is worse about stripping than giving a massage?
Why can someone charge $100 or more an hour to listen to your problems in business casual but not in a bikini? Why is it if someone wants to spend their money on a car or trotting the globe we don’t go after those jezebels at Mercedes or the travel agency or chamber of commerce for preying on people? It’s a bit daffy and the defense that men are weak to sex is laughable in how badly it paints men. Offense to men like me even.
The idea that men cannot control ourselves and our urges is both an insult to our higher reasoning and ability to function as well as an insult to all those people who might find themselves victims of predatory or overly aggressive men. A Classic weapon, especially against women.
It feeds the “she was asking for with how she was dressed” or “it isn’t my fault, I couldn’t control myself..” that have often been used in history to allow men to get off or get sympathetic treatment for misdeeds and indiscretions. It is the backbone of the fear and anxiety men women live with and the annoyance at the manifestation of that in social issues that many men opine.
The social concept that a man is, at least in sex, little more than a violent animal who may take what he wants or push himself on you or react wildly if rejected and that is expected as one of the likely outcomes when around men. That if this man finds you attractive, he will likely behave unpredictably and possibly dangerously and aggressively because he just can’t control himself.
It is a stereotype that men like Weinstein and those who instigated the final push to “me too” embraced as identity- “what do you expect, I’m a man?” And because of that, women often must live in fear or apprehension that a meeting with the boss or coffee with a colleague could end with them being coerced or cajoled or forced into a compromising position or facing retribution for rejection; and why so many men must live in fear that they might be implicated in wrong doing despite no wrongs because of misunderstanding or simple malice. Men created that situation because we steered right into the “yeah.. I’m a man so of course you know… I see something I want and I can’t help it…” and when I see it propagated it upsets me to no end because unless you have brain damage or something, yes. You can control yourself.
But being real some guys are just bad at it. They are simps. They are suckers. They have unfulfilled desires or fantasies and the right combination of baggage and traits that they will mortgage their house not even to sniff a pretty girl but just to think they might be able to. But how do you know which guy is which? I’ve known men who would spend $1,000 at lunch on a single stripper or spend 5 or 10 thousand dollars in one night at a club. They are just having fun. Being a little wild, throwing money, enjoying the attention of the dancers and maybe being seen by other patrons as big shots, and they had the money to spend. That was their “fun money” and they deceived to do that instead of buy a new toy or take a trip or whatever. Then I know guys who have spent their last $50 or their rent money on women.
But if a guy is throwing $1000 at you how do you know wether he can easily afford that or it is his rent? At some point he’s an adult right? You just have to say, how he spends money isn’t you to you. Secret- a guy that will give his life savings to a streamer or cam girl or stripper would just as easily give it to a girl he just started dating ir perhaps a stranger in the park, or spend it on something else stupid- because doing that is arguably pretty stupid. These sorts of performers usually need to be sought out. They don’t show up at your door or cold call people until they find a client. You went to them, ostensibly to spend money on their services. So now they are supposed to what? Tell you not to do the thing you came to do? And here’s the thing- and I’ve literally seen this happen-
Sometimes they will! They’ll straight up tell the person they shouldn’t Do it, that they feel bad, or even ask them several times if they are sure. But- I wouldn’t judge then for not because the fantasy of being a “big man” throwing money around is blown apart pretty easily by someone asking if you can afford it. People don’t usually ask you if you can afford something if you seem like you can afford it.
So really the moral of the story here is that wether it is steamers or gambling or your church or online shopping or a new app game or trading card game or going to bars or traveling or whatever- have a budget for the things you have fun with or feel provide you leisure or fulfillment or mental health etc. and stick to your budget. If you have $500 a month that you aren’t going to put in savings and doesn’t need to go to bills etc. and that money is for buying your snacks and going out to watch movies or sky dive or to buy car parts or attend concerts or whatever- and you decide you’d most enjoy giving it to streamers- whatever makes you feel good and like it was worth doing what you had to do to get that money. Good on you. But if you have $500 you need to stop at $500.
It isn’t costcos fault of you have $200 for groceries and you spend it all on a digital camera in the electronics section. It isn’t Amazon’s fault if you overspend. It isn’t even Vegas’s fault if you gamble away your life savings. That’s your money. You and the people in your life need to recognize you have addictions or problems and decide to seek help or let those things potentially control you. It’s your life.
The reasonable person assumes one doesn’t give money they can’t afford to spend for entertainment. Now, of course many people can be addicted to entertainment, have poor impulse control or allow their fantasy inner world to project onto reality. It’s sad but- put yourself in those shoes.
So not all female entertainers sell such fantasy, but let’s not mince words, most people are aware when someone is trading in flirtations and teases and sexuality and such. I am not condemning anyone who does. It’s valid work- obviously it is in demand, and people pay for all sorts of services out of want or need or convenience that they cannot do themselves or cannot get in their lives another way that works for them. Massages for example, a therapist is often a confidant and advisor and someone to vent to or bounce ideas off of, you may have someone else shave or wax you, you might hire a ride somewhere or pay movers or someone to care for your children and play and teach them, you may even pay for sperm or eggs or someone to carry a child, any number of things.
Why can someone charge $100 or more an hour to listen to your problems in business casual but not in a bikini? Why is it if someone wants to spend their money on a car or trotting the globe we don’t go after those jezebels at Mercedes or the travel agency or chamber of commerce for preying on people? It’s a bit daffy and the defense that men are weak to sex is laughable in how badly it paints men. Offense to men like me even.
The idea that men cannot control ourselves and our urges is both an insult to our higher reasoning and ability to function as well as an insult to all those people who might find themselves victims of predatory or overly aggressive men. A Classic weapon, especially against women.
The social concept that a man is, at least in sex, little more than a violent animal who may take what he wants or push himself on you or react wildly if rejected and that is expected as one of the likely outcomes when around men. That if this man finds you attractive, he will likely behave unpredictably and possibly dangerously and aggressively because he just can’t control himself.