This is trickier than it seems. Many women are attracted to other women but do. It desire to be sexually active with other women. Some women might want to kiss or touch and other women might not even want to do that- they feel some attraction of some sort and appreciate the beauty of the other woman but they don’t feel comfortable or desire to be physical with that woman.
On the other hand- I’d venture to guess that somewhere around this many or more men feel attracted to other men. The sports watching male majority for example clearly and often verbally has appreciation for the form of their fellow man, and we know that male behavior and perceptions towards other men are often influenced by the other man’s attractiveness in the eyes of the first man.
Like… a Jersey is literally another man’s shirt. It has his name on it. How are you going to tell me you are 100% “straight” walking around wearing another man’s shirt because you like him enough to pay $100+ just to wear his gym gear…? Nah. Not buying it.
So I would say that men generally do not express their homosexual or homoerotic tendencies openly in words, and may manifest them differently than women, in large part from social conditioning. We know that men tend to be less verbal or less able to verbalize their emotional and psychological states and motivators based on cultural conditioning.
The very idea of being called or perceived “gay” is still highly insulting and a source of anxiety or hostility for many or most men even. That sensitivity comes from somewhere- and intuitively it seems solid evidence of cultural conditioning.
So what is a lesbian or homosexual? If attraction is all that is required- that is at some point probably every single person on earth. Of course this gets odd but is it SEXUAL attraction? Even what we’d call clear heterosexuals are bad at this. Mistaking other feelings for sexual attraction. Asking out a friend whom they have no sexual chemistry with simply because that friend is someone they get along with it have fun with and is possibly attractive- but not necessarily that they are attracted to that friend.
What do I mean? I will seldom if ever say no to chocolate. Even if I am stuffed to the point of throwing up. I love chocolate. If you put out cotton candy, yeah. It’s cool. I like It. I’ll eat it if I’m in the mood for that specifically or I want something sweet and it is there. But I’m not drawn to cotton candy. I don’t seek it out usually and it doesn’t call to me as chocolate does.
And that’s many of us in our dating lives. We often will eat the cotton candy and mistake that for love when chocolate is the love and cotton candy is just there.
People, especially those who aren’t treated well or paid attention to, often think they are attracted to someone just because that person is nice to them or even basically polite. People go after those who neglect them because they mistake their feelings of seeking approval etc. for attraction. So attraction is a very broad term. There are lots these things that can attract us to a person- humor, generosity, wit, intellect, image etc. but not necessarily a romantic or sexual attraction- though for each of us that can be different. Some people DO find humor sexy. They may date someone who isn’t the least bit physically attractive- even to them- but still find them sexy or sexually desirable because their other traits make them so.
Physical attraction is an odd one too. Ever find a cartoon sexy? A sculpture? CGI or drawings or paintings or a random object? Without crossing into overt beastiality or being a “furry.” Many people through history have in general or at specific moments found attraction or eroticism in animals- the powerful musculature and size of a horse is one that is well known and well trod through history especially for women, and men often find their grace ir beauty attractive.
If you’re finding a drawing sexually attractive- that’s not a human. Even if the form appears human it is not human- it’s simply those things that remind you of a human or cause an association in the mind.
So it gets weird fast.
Of course what we will or will not have sex with, or if we even want to have sex with something just because we have a sexual response mentally or physically is not so 1:1 as “you got aroused by a pop tart so your poptart-osexual!”
But in this day and age- how many men are attracted to women? Just because you are heterosexual doesn’t mean you are attracted to women. We know and have many examples of “men” “passing” as “female” in simple words. So you take a biological man, slap some fake eyelashes on, some make up, maybe a stuffed bra and some shape wear etc- and “heterosexual” men will hit on him. They may masturbate to him without realizing his biological gender.
That’s a man though. So they are homosexual? Well… I don’t know. Because they may not be attracted to women or just women. They are attracted to an image or a concept of women.
A drawing of a “sexy girl” isn’t a girl. It looks like one in some way- usually it uses cues. Breasts, hips, butt, often a figure that slims towards the waist. Long hair or certain hair styles tend to be most common. Perhaps large and full lips and lots of color in the face, long lashes, thin eyebrows, etc etc.
but much of what we find attractive in modern women has nothing to do exclusively with femininity. It’s a uniform. Anyone can wear a police uniform wether they are a cop or not. Are you attracted to cops or the image of cops? If you’re attracted to cops you’d find an off duty plain clothes cop attractive but not likely find a bar tender in a police uniform for Halloween attractive no? So if you see a car tender in a cop uniform and find them attractive then your exclusive sexual attraction wouldn’t be to cops, anything that looks or invokes “cop” would be enough. You are attracted to an image or a uniform.
Now- a “straight” man sees a woman from
Across the room that looks sexy. He goes over. When he gets there she is a mannequin. Does he still want to have sex with her? Maybe, maybe not. He sees a sexy woman and walks over and she is pre op trans, does he still want to have sex with her? Maybe. Maybe not.
Ok. Ok. What about a sexy woman, who was born XX chromosome, but she has had bottom surgery so she had a penis. My straight men- are you having sex with her if she’s sexy AF?
Some will say yes and others will say no, but what’s the problem? You’re straight right? You like women, you find her appearance attractive, so won’t you have sex? Is it the penis? Don’t worry. She’s a woman. Are you not attracted to penises? So a man with a vagina is fine? It isnt that you like women, you just don’t like penises?
What is the difference between doing anal with your girl and doing anal with a man? What about a man that otherwise looks exactly like a woman from behind?
Tricky stuff isn’t it? Few people have few good answers to categorize all this. That’s part of the complications of trans issues and such in society- but that is another issue. The point is that most people can find an example where attraction and sexual desire aren’t exactly the same thing.
Most people, wether they care to admit or not, can be said to walk some sort of odd line where they can’t claim to be so exclusive in their sexuality or where words like “homosexual” stop meaning anything useful because they are being stretched. In the purse at sense the question would be wether one has sexual activities with one of the same sex- but that’s not so cut and dry.
You can have sex with someone without feeling attraction or desire. Prostitutes often have sex with clients that they wouldn’t otherwise find desirable sexually or have sex with. For a million dollars or some number, most men would at some point have sex with another man and likely for many neither enjoy it nor repeat it.
Jail has its own whole set up with sexuality.
So you can have sex without desire and have desire without sex. You can have attraction without desire and desire without attraction. Desire without sex, sex without desire. The list goes on.
We tend to have like ability to express these subtle concepts and differences.
But- in general the gamble form tends to be more pleasing to most humans. Our aesthetics tend to favor the female form and more so, most cultures especially in the modern age sexualize females.
Television and film and advertisements and such bombard us with imagery and words and both subtext and blatant declarations of women being sexy. Society puts pressure on women to loom and be sexy. Women tend to be varying degrees of experts in the art. You have to be in most social settings as a woman. The act of putting on making or selecting clothing is a balancing act of expressing yourself as well as conveying the appropriate mood of an occasion. Walking a line between attractive and “too attractive” or “too trashy” etc etc.
The skills and routines of modern beauty standards are an encyclopedic undertaking that most men have perhaps only the faintest concepts of and are often surprised or confused or completely in the dark as to the time and money and means by which their female friends and partners go about looking the way so many men assume they just wake up or spend a few minutes a day to look.
If you’re seeped from an early age in such a culture where women are being openly discussed and judged by their attractiveness, where women’s prospects are rooted to this and where being a woman who is held up and seen on billboards or television or film etc. so often means being attractive- if you’re being expected and pressured for your own social survival to adopt these behaviors or mimicking the women you see around you in adopting them, then good odds that you’ll develop on some level a critical eye and natural observation if female beauty.
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On the other hand- I’d venture to guess that somewhere around this many or more men feel attracted to other men. The sports watching male majority for example clearly and often verbally has appreciation for the form of their fellow man, and we know that male behavior and perceptions towards other men are often influenced by the other man’s attractiveness in the eyes of the first man.
So I would say that men generally do not express their homosexual or homoerotic tendencies openly in words, and may manifest them differently than women, in large part from social conditioning. We know that men tend to be less verbal or less able to verbalize their emotional and psychological states and motivators based on cultural conditioning.
The very idea of being called or perceived “gay” is still highly insulting and a source of anxiety or hostility for many or most men even. That sensitivity comes from somewhere- and intuitively it seems solid evidence of cultural conditioning.
What do I mean? I will seldom if ever say no to chocolate. Even if I am stuffed to the point of throwing up. I love chocolate. If you put out cotton candy, yeah. It’s cool. I like It. I’ll eat it if I’m in the mood for that specifically or I want something sweet and it is there. But I’m not drawn to cotton candy. I don’t seek it out usually and it doesn’t call to me as chocolate does.
People, especially those who aren’t treated well or paid attention to, often think they are attracted to someone just because that person is nice to them or even basically polite. People go after those who neglect them because they mistake their feelings of seeking approval etc. for attraction. So attraction is a very broad term. There are lots these things that can attract us to a person- humor, generosity, wit, intellect, image etc. but not necessarily a romantic or sexual attraction- though for each of us that can be different. Some people DO find humor sexy. They may date someone who isn’t the least bit physically attractive- even to them- but still find them sexy or sexually desirable because their other traits make them so.
If you’re finding a drawing sexually attractive- that’s not a human. Even if the form appears human it is not human- it’s simply those things that remind you of a human or cause an association in the mind.
So it gets weird fast.
Of course what we will or will not have sex with, or if we even want to have sex with something just because we have a sexual response mentally or physically is not so 1:1 as “you got aroused by a pop tart so your poptart-osexual!”
That’s a man though. So they are homosexual? Well… I don’t know. Because they may not be attracted to women or just women. They are attracted to an image or a concept of women.
but much of what we find attractive in modern women has nothing to do exclusively with femininity. It’s a uniform. Anyone can wear a police uniform wether they are a cop or not. Are you attracted to cops or the image of cops? If you’re attracted to cops you’d find an off duty plain clothes cop attractive but not likely find a bar tender in a police uniform for Halloween attractive no? So if you see a car tender in a cop uniform and find them attractive then your exclusive sexual attraction wouldn’t be to cops, anything that looks or invokes “cop” would be enough. You are attracted to an image or a uniform.
Across the room that looks sexy. He goes over. When he gets there she is a mannequin. Does he still want to have sex with her? Maybe, maybe not. He sees a sexy woman and walks over and she is pre op trans, does he still want to have sex with her? Maybe. Maybe not.
Ok. Ok. What about a sexy woman, who was born XX chromosome, but she has had bottom surgery so she had a penis. My straight men- are you having sex with her if she’s sexy AF?
Some will say yes and others will say no, but what’s the problem? You’re straight right? You like women, you find her appearance attractive, so won’t you have sex? Is it the penis? Don’t worry. She’s a woman. Are you not attracted to penises? So a man with a vagina is fine? It isnt that you like women, you just don’t like penises?
Tricky stuff isn’t it? Few people have few good answers to categorize all this. That’s part of the complications of trans issues and such in society- but that is another issue. The point is that most people can find an example where attraction and sexual desire aren’t exactly the same thing.
Most people, wether they care to admit or not, can be said to walk some sort of odd line where they can’t claim to be so exclusive in their sexuality or where words like “homosexual” stop meaning anything useful because they are being stretched. In the purse at sense the question would be wether one has sexual activities with one of the same sex- but that’s not so cut and dry.
Jail has its own whole set up with sexuality.
So you can have sex without desire and have desire without sex. You can have attraction without desire and desire without attraction. Desire without sex, sex without desire. The list goes on.
We tend to have like ability to express these subtle concepts and differences.
But- in general the gamble form tends to be more pleasing to most humans. Our aesthetics tend to favor the female form and more so, most cultures especially in the modern age sexualize females.
The skills and routines of modern beauty standards are an encyclopedic undertaking that most men have perhaps only the faintest concepts of and are often surprised or confused or completely in the dark as to the time and money and means by which their female friends and partners go about looking the way so many men assume they just wake up or spend a few minutes a day to look.