Dude…. There’s a really big difference between opening up about your mental health and the examples given up here.
These aren’t men that were sharing their feelings and on a journey of openness towards mental health, these are examples of men denying, hiding, bottling up, exacerbating and neglecting emotional and mental health issues until they exploded in unhealthy and disruptive ways.
Not taking their meds, not expressing their feelings, not seeking help, not cultivating support networks, engaging in behaviors and lifestyles that are enough to push even the mentally fortified and well to their breaking points.
This is less a case of “why men don’t share their feelings” and more a case of what happens when men do not express their emotions in healthy ways and lack or refuse to use the tools to process them.
And every single man on this list has had MULTIPLE very public meltdowns- often ones they themselves instigated and chose to have broadcast to mass audiences.
Let’s keep this simple, especially when it isn’t your first breakdown- you can only get on the work intercom or the radio or the work Twitter or live TV and have a breakdown so many times before it is clear that you should either be better at recognizing and managing the signs before you reach that point (or have people around you who are..) or you should maybe take a mental health break from your work and the sorts of triggering events and high visibility situations while you recover.
It’s complex and I’m leaving it here-
These are very rich and very public men who have little excuse for their behaviors when they literally have staff to help them with everything including managing their personal lives.
A pilot trying to crash a plane and commit suicide along with the passengers is not a “man sharing his emotions” or struggles with mental health- he likely had quite a bit of warning up to that point that the cheese was slipping off his cracker and as an adult, managing those feelings and moods before it got to that point or stepping away from doing things like flying a plane full of people would be examples of dealing with it. Running up to your breaking point is not an example of that. It’s an example of poor self care or serious underlying conditions like schizophrenia that need treatment and possibly restrictions.
If you were boarding a plane and were told the pilot had chronic depression and had tried to crash a plane full of people 4 times but hadn’t killed anyone yet- would you get on and let them fly you?
If you found out they just tried to crash a plane full of people this morning while landing at your airport- are you getting on?
There’s more to all this, but understand that you generally are lucky to get away with one massive disruptive emotional outburst in most any social or business setting, but if you have repeat and/or regular and long lasting bouts in which you don’t seem to be seeking any constructive help to mitigate the thoughts and behaviors- it isn’t grace to enable you.
At some point some jobs- like being a celebrity- may just not be compatible with some peoples mentality emotional well being. At some point being honest and trying to get better involves stepping away for your own sake or the sake of others.
There are stigmas against men sharing their feelings or being vulnerable and there are hypocrites and double standards. Most women don’t finding crying or Whitney men or men acting like “little bit$hes” to be attractive. But society generally has tolerances for this stuff. Even your friends and loved ones- or you towards yours- likely have a point where you just don’t want to hear the same problems again or to get all the details.
So that is true.
That said, one of the biggest reasons in my mind men aren’t more honest and open with feelings and mental health is that they believe stuff like this. They believe that sharing your feelings means punching a hole in drywall because you’re pissed and then getting babied and spoiled for a week or two because you threw a tantrum. That’s not how it works.
Sharing your emotions means being genuinely vulnerable and sincere- not venting or being performative for your ego.
These aren’t men that were sharing their feelings and on a journey of openness towards mental health, these are examples of men denying, hiding, bottling up, exacerbating and neglecting emotional and mental health issues until they exploded in unhealthy and disruptive ways.
Not taking their meds, not expressing their feelings, not seeking help, not cultivating support networks, engaging in behaviors and lifestyles that are enough to push even the mentally fortified and well to their breaking points.
And every single man on this list has had MULTIPLE very public meltdowns- often ones they themselves instigated and chose to have broadcast to mass audiences.
Let’s keep this simple, especially when it isn’t your first breakdown- you can only get on the work intercom or the radio or the work Twitter or live TV and have a breakdown so many times before it is clear that you should either be better at recognizing and managing the signs before you reach that point (or have people around you who are..) or you should maybe take a mental health break from your work and the sorts of triggering events and high visibility situations while you recover.
These are very rich and very public men who have little excuse for their behaviors when they literally have staff to help them with everything including managing their personal lives.
A pilot trying to crash a plane and commit suicide along with the passengers is not a “man sharing his emotions” or struggles with mental health- he likely had quite a bit of warning up to that point that the cheese was slipping off his cracker and as an adult, managing those feelings and moods before it got to that point or stepping away from doing things like flying a plane full of people would be examples of dealing with it. Running up to your breaking point is not an example of that. It’s an example of poor self care or serious underlying conditions like schizophrenia that need treatment and possibly restrictions.
If you found out they just tried to crash a plane full of people this morning while landing at your airport- are you getting on?
There’s more to all this, but understand that you generally are lucky to get away with one massive disruptive emotional outburst in most any social or business setting, but if you have repeat and/or regular and long lasting bouts in which you don’t seem to be seeking any constructive help to mitigate the thoughts and behaviors- it isn’t grace to enable you.
At some point some jobs- like being a celebrity- may just not be compatible with some peoples mentality emotional well being. At some point being honest and trying to get better involves stepping away for your own sake or the sake of others.
So that is true.
That said, one of the biggest reasons in my mind men aren’t more honest and open with feelings and mental health is that they believe stuff like this. They believe that sharing your feelings means punching a hole in drywall because you’re pissed and then getting babied and spoiled for a week or two because you threw a tantrum. That’s not how it works.
Sharing your emotions means being genuinely vulnerable and sincere- not venting or being performative for your ego.