Stay-at-home-dad-dude. First off, I'm loving your coffee pot because you must have some excellent coffee at your house, none of these instant stuff. Kudos! However, you must know that the act of breast feeding is not like the act of sucking through a straw. Some kids won't master the straw until they're three, some get it about a year if you're lucky. Not many people know this so we'll let it slip. However, your surface to weight ration for the duct tape clearly shows that the milk carton is very low if not totally empty. No way are you packing the full milk load because you'd have to strap that on like a brassiere with full shoulder and neck support. Peeling duct tape off your hairy body is no laughing matter so we'll also let slip. However the kid isn't reeling because you're not his mom, he's reeling because there's no milk to be had. Just sayin'. Yours sincerely, a fellow stay-at-home dad.
FUNsubstancely yours, a fellow work & home dad