‘Got any snacks?’

We don’t remember our dreams mostly because the thinking isn’t ‘conscious and directed’ like, say, studying or memorizing lines for a play. ‘In general, we are very good at forgetting nonessentials. In fact, many of our thoughts, not just those we have while dreaming, are lost. We tend to recall only things that we think about often or that have emotional significance—a problem, a date, a meeting. Mulling over important thoughts activates our dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC), a brain region that facilitates memory.
Although most dreams vanish, certain ones tend to remain. These dreams were so beautiful or bizarre, they captured our attention and increased activity in our DLPFC. Thus, the more impressive your dream or thought, the more likely you are to remember it.’ (Scientific American, Why Do Memories of Vivid Dreams Disappear Soon After Waking Up?, May 2011)

That is some serious commitment to a cause.

At first I thought, ‘that car looks like the Down’s Syndrome of automobiles’. But then I thought, ‘it looks crazy but I kind of feel like we need to allow auto designers to do funky stuff so we get really neat cars with innovative designs.’ Electric cars were probably some crazy man’s idea that finally got a chance. So I say, keep making cars that make me want to throw up. Eventually, we’ll get one that hovers.

Wholesome meme is happily wholesome.

My kind of town.

There is literally no nutritional value in any of that food.

Why do I feel like ’sock sock shoe shoe’ or ‘sock shoe sock shoe’ will be the new ‘cereal then milk or milk then cereal’?

Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!

Never go grocery shopping when you are hungry.
Never text your ex when you are drunk.
Never have a hookup without checking their ID.
Never park in the end corner spot.
Never avoid telling your mother that you love her - she’ll be gone before you know it.

That baby looks like it’s seen the future of humanity and is doubting its decision to leave the womb.

I once saw a meme on here that said ‘suicide is simply taking your pain and passing it onto others.’ Mates, if you’re having problems, then PLEASE get help. Don’t be ashamed. There is nothing wrong with seeking someone to understand you and your hurt to help you through it. We’ve all been in dark places. You’re not alone. I see a lot of jokes on here about ‘wanting to die.’ Serious or not, your FS brothers and sisters love you. Not trying to be an after school special, but this is SUPER important. Love yourself and do what you need to do to find reason in your life. Stay strong. We need you.

I would be terrified of getting a vaccine if that thing showed up while someone was shoving a needle into my arm.

False. Most Catholic priests are circumcised in keeping with Mosaic law. Trust me. I know from firsthand experience.

Sometimes I wonder if Dr. Doom is an MD or a PhD. Both seem equally impressive.

*drives past in minivan* ‘Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Even costumed vigilantes are not above the law.’

This actually appears to be true. Another fun fact found through the Googleplex: ‘It's believed that bald eagles choose one mate for life. To impress each other, males and females perform special courtship dances in the sky. The dance involves locking talons and cart-wheeling through the air.’ I love it when wild animals have better love lives than I do.

God is good and his blessings are everlasting. Now, if he could just turn this small fry into a large...

Psychotic gamemaster lures children to their death with their greatest temptations in the original Saw.

I’m going speed metal all over that urinal.

Only Asians (excluding Taiwanese) who instinctively go to the left will understand.

Well, at least one of those three men is wise.