granlobomalo
"All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
I huffed and I puffed,
And the house blew apart,
I’m leaving for now,
But you’re all in my heart.
[Feb 2019]
Painting a portrait of yourself using the reflection of a mirror 6 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
You made me think ‘if Will Farrell and Jesse Eisenberg had a far more gifted child.’
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Caption This 6 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Barely Beagle Twins Hook Up with Exotic Foreign Exchange Student! See What the Pupular Kids Do When They Think No One Is Watching!
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Edited 6 years ago
Talk to your dog 16 comments
A citrus fruit called Buddha’s Hands 3 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Buddha should really see an oncologist if his hand looked like the one on the left.
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This made me crumb from laughing so hard. 1 comments
Nice 2 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Chipotle really ought to give you free chips with your meal, though.
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Edited 6 years ago
Spicy air 4 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
No, fire is a chemical reaction between a fuel that has reached its ignition temperature and oxygen. ‘Spicy air’ is what you get when your local Sriracha Hot Sauce factory releases eye-itching, lung-searing fumes so bad that they get called a public nuisance. This is not an analogy that should be keeping you up at night: (http://time.com/57086/sriracha-public-nuisance-irwindale/)
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Edited 6 years ago
Only in our dreams 10 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
There are only three true pleasures in this world: eating meat, riding meat, and putting meat in meat (i.e., a good steak, a good horse/car, and a good lay).
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Edited 6 years ago
Wormy hand 6 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Your arm looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man had an eating disorder.
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Edited 6 years ago
she looks into your soul 4 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
‘Excuse me? Human servant? This is Dasani. And you know that I only drink Vox. Please correct this error immediately if you value any objects on the shelves in this home that I permit you to live in.’
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Desu desu 14 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
@mrscollector I understand where you’re coming from in concept. But I have to ask (respectfully and rhetorically) would you be comfortable with your 11-year old daughter dating a 19-year old man? I, for one, would think ‘what could a college sophomore possibly want from my grade 6 daughter? And is he seriously going to wait 5-7 years to consummate their relationship?’ I admire your faith in humanity but, for me, no amount of rule-setting and chaperoning would make me comfortable with a scenario like that.
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Edited 6 years ago
she looks into your soul 4 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
More like she looks into that empty bowl then at you wondering why you haven’t filled it yet.
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I love cheese 4 comments
Desu desu 14 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Looks like somebody forgot the rule of ‘half your age plus seven’. Along with the law of statutory rape.
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Edited 6 years ago
The perfect time for a kiss 3 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Raccoon: Um, that is holly. And I have a boyfriend.
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Edited 6 years ago
Oh no 4 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Having to ‘make decisions’ for them about their well-being and seeing the look of resignation on their faces as they accept that they’re now the child and you’ve become the parent.
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Firefighter air walk 5 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Judging from his height and apparent lack of restraints, if he falls that will be the last walking he ever does.
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Take him home 9 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
That’s a lot of plastic for not very much fish. For shame.
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Edited 6 years ago
Delicious 5 comments
Pomeranian of your nightmares! 4 comments
There's nothing worse than this 3 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Handing someone your phone to look at a single picture but then they start flipping through your camera roll and find something embarrassing.
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This Russian flutist playing Mozart as surgeons remove her brain tumor 10 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
@bethorien Bro. I said ‘no homo’, bro. That means it’s totally permissible for me to, like, give birth to our smart, logic-inclined manbabies (his side of the genetics) who think they’re funny but only my mother gets their sense of humor (my side of the genetics), bro. I mean, we’re a bromance made in heaven, bro. @guest_ just needs to just, like, I dunno, maybe, like...
Realize it.
Bro.
(No homo.)
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Edited 6 years ago
Realize it.
Bro.
(No homo.)
This Russian flutist playing Mozart as surgeons remove her brain tumor 10 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
You’re so knowledgeable and wise, @guest_. I totally love our FunSubstance bromance that we have together. You don’t know about it yet. But I love it. No homo.
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Edited 6 years ago
He deserves a balloon. A red one, I think 6 comments
