I had to look at this picture for a good 20 seconds before I realized that it was a foot partially blocked by the toilet partition and not some bizarre hand-claw hairbrush.

This tweet looks serious. Let me read it more closely once I get to a red light.

I don’t think the battery alone will be enough to electrocute him. The laptop, however, will be going to an early grave.

I feel like this might happen almost anywhere if you walked in with free pizza.

These are unrealistic standards for male beauty. This is a dangerous time for young men in America. A dangerous time.

‘Breath check. Do I need a mint?’

The poster is just Australian. Or the connoisseur of some interesting pornography.

FunSubstance haiku
Tricky but still fun to do
You guys are awesome

That kid has his priorities straight. Baby genius.

Call me crazy but I don’t think things are well if your cat has full finger flexion and an opposable thumb. That is highly abnormal. Plus, they can now grasp tools. Knives are tools. And the cat on the right looks like he has murder in his eyes.

I have a couple of Tinkerbell friends who will be receiving this meme from me right about now.

Do a place-name like Brooklyn or Dakota, but call your child Benin. That way, he can either be ‘Ben-Ten do’ or ‘Nin Tendo’ or even a walking existential placement ad to ‘Be Nin Tendo’. See, options.

That dog’s back looks like my sides in a few weeks once my winter weight has full, unfettered permission to return!

I once had a class where the professor used the Random function in Excel to assign people to a group project. It prevented all of the smart kids from choosing each other to have a powerhouse group and took all of the anxiety out of getting rejected when asking to be on a team. He projected it as he did it so that everyone could see and no one could say the groupings were rigged. It might not be a bad idea if teachers tried that approach more often, or let students vote whether they’d rather do group projects by lottery or self-selection.

Fortunately, he’s properly supporting the baby’s head as he lines him up for a sick piledriver.

She’d probably yap incessantly about the poor service, start barking orders, howl about calling the manager’s manager, and whine when she’s told that the customer isn’t always right.