A technique also known as the ‘Senator Larry Craig Stretch’.

Okay, why don’t we just paws for a minute. I’m not looking fur trouble. I couldn’t Spot the tennis balls anywhere. But when I asked you where is it, boy, you growled at me like it was my fault you had to fetch them. I shouldn’t have to beg for service, but you shouldn’t just roll over for rude customers, either. So let’s stop howling at the moon before this situation becomes a dog’s breakfast. Shake?

Sounds like you found your soulmate.

Advertisement: Enjoy the vacation of a lifetime. Because you won’t live to tell about it.

Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because I thought I picked Mounds but instead I got a Chunky.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you made a lot of noise going down but once I’m through with you I’ll leave you empty and discarded.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because I feel like if I’d held out a little longer, I could’ve had something much better for me.

Holy. Mooseknuckle. I called the number. The call goes directly to voicemail and says, to paraphrase, ‘Hello, this is Carlton. Let me know if you want me to do it. Let me know what your favorite cars are, what shapes they are, what sounds they make so I *laughs nervously* so I know what I’m doing. And let me know if this is for kids... or if you want me to do it nude.’ *beep*

FunSubster from Iraq: *timidly raises hand* ‘I mean, if you’re speaking literally, then...’

What they don’t show is that sea creature having a seizure when the clip ends from having its brain rattled and squished.

Huh. Well, how about that? For anyone else who thought this was an incredibly useful and really handy little hack, you can find more like this one here: (https://www.artofmanliness.com/)

Yes, no one will catch on if they see a plate full of identical cookies with identical bite marks in each one.

I would gladly endure eardrops if it meant I got a cool box maze afterward.

This is one of those posts where you ask yourself ‘do I comment on the spelling, explain why oceans have different names, or ask whether he’s called Thumby because that’s the shape of his head?’

Holy cow. Appears to be more fact than fiction: https://www.menshealth.com/trending-news/a19534035/dwayne-the-rock-johnson-brings-gym-to-every-movie-set/

Why is there one large red domino?

What if I called you a liar, and then you provided the artist’s name to @jade, and then I checked it myself and got all embarrassed, and then did that awkward ‘should I edit/delete my post’ internal debate thing, and then stayed up at night thinking about it?

Sea lions also rolling in the sand for camouflage to protect themselves from being killed by poachers. I just made that up. Sad thing is with the way things are today, that was my first thought when I saw this pic.