Neither. Because the person I marry would look at the other guests siding up for supernatural sportsfare and say to me, ‘I think this party is about to get a little bit messy. How about we make an Irish goodbye?’, then sneak us through the back door and take me home for some Amazon Prime and cuddle time. (We’d high five Jesus on the way out, though, and ask him not to tell anybody.)

Dog: ‘He was over there wearing all of those clothes. Then he fake threw the ball to get me all excited, a total tease. Then he rubbed my tummy and told me I was a good boy. I mean, c’mon. Clothing? Fake throws? Tummy rubs? A good boy? He obviously wanted it.’

Garfield is dead. He died from feline diabetes because Jon never regulated his diet, effectively ‘feeding him to death’ by stuffing him with lasagna and other foods that cats should never eat. Garfield slowly perished in the web of Jon’s ‘unintentional’ irresponsibility. But Jon knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted that selfish cat dead. Now, Garfield returns in grotesque arachnid form to exact revenge, tauntingly begging Jon for the very food that Jon used to kill him. Just as Garfield knew that he was powerless to stop his slow murder by the one thing - and one person - that he loved, Jon must now endure the torment of having his own killer slowly hunt him down, of knowing his own death is waiting for him just around the corner. Insects who struggle only become further ensnared in the spider’s web. Thus, Jon, once the spider, is confronted with the decision of his life: Do I continue to fight what seems inevitable? Or do I face my fate as the fly?

Urban Dictionary: geed
An individual operating outside of Greek life and not adhering to fraternity/sorority trends and lifestyles. A derivative of GDI ("God Damn Independent), "geed" is often used as a derogatory term by members of Greek life against others who are able to maintain a thriving social life without the burdens of the required conformity and monetary membership charges, whom they deem threatening.

Let’s not forget the tremendous sense of accomplishment and envy from your classmates that came when you could peel it off whole and have a perfect replica of your fingerprint.

Bearded guy here. That is not a full beard. That is a shenandoah. I wonder if he elicits partially ‘indecent thoughts’ since, technically, his face is only partially bearded?

@bethorien nails it again, LOL.

@guest Um, wasn’t your very last post - and I quote - ‘at least you have a mom, I only have two dads’?