@jasonmon When you accidentally unlock a new character with level 100 charisma.

Lincoln may have been ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ but James Buchanan was likely America’s first ‘Dick Resident President’. Yesteryear news says that he and Senator William Rufus De Vane King lived together for over 20 years. ‘By chance’, De Vane King, the 13th vice president, was the U.S.’s only unmarried Vice President. Historians note that he was reportedly described as ‘Miss Nancy’, Buchanan's ‘better half’ and ‘Madam President.’ Not a smoking gun. But definitely enough to make you raise an eyebrow, heh heh.
P.S. @guest_ I swear I only know this because I do Trivia Thursdays at my local bar *fluffs beard and strokes chest hair while buying Diet Pepsi, Hanes underwear, and Wheaties on Amazon because Joe Montana advertised them in the 80s.*
P.P.S. Totes bromo.

I bet those loans get paid back, though.

The word ganso exists in Spanish. You wouldn’t call a goose a cobra chicken in Spanish any more than you would in English.

@guest_ So I’ve been thinking of taking up knitting...

As much as he gripes about farming, he’s clearly not missing any meals.

Are you a chicken? Because I want to cut off your head, peel off your skin, deep fry you, and eat you.

If ‘explicitely’ is the combination of explicit and excitedly then I think I just found my new favorite portmanteau.

@unklethan Christmas 2019 I’m buying you a Kindle and an Amazon Prime membership.

Do you want stripper daughters with daddy issues? Because that’s how you get stripper daughters with daddy issues.

That cat has the pupils of a raver at 5 am on a Sunday morning.

Bedtime. Brussel sprouts. Having to stay inside on rainy days. Sunscreen. Math. Myself.

I’m just waiting for them to do the Harlem Shake.

Saddest short story: Fantastic Four reboot, 2015.

I feel very ashamed for being a nasty little pervert. But only on Tuesday and Saturday nights at select ‘social clubs’ for like-minded adults.

You live your best life and don’t let anyone tell you any differently.

This is what happens when George Lucas whimps out and makes Jar Jar Binx an annoying dope instead of the secret Sith Lord. Other directors think it’s okay to water down their abso-fantasti-lutey better original storylines because they don’t want to ‘overwhelm’ their audiences. BB was good, in my opinion, but this version would’ve been so much better!