@aviva Don’t worry. I wouldn’t eat you unless you were bringing treats to your grandmother. You’re safe. For now.
@t__v__t In case you didn’t know, @bethorien is my sworn mortal enemy (and favorite little miss sassy pants, but that’s another story). Anyway, I’ve noticed that she’s been much less sassy pantsy lately. So, I thought I would try - emphasis on try - being nice to her for once just in case something’s going on. It pained me tremendously. But I managed to do it. So don’t read too much into this. I’m still a wolf waiting for just the right moment to pounce.

Fortnite was popular because it was free and you got free dance lessons. If I had Fortnite when I was in junior high, I wouldn’t have stood in the corner at the 8th grade formal afraid to ask the sassy @bethorien-like girl if she wanted to throw shapes.

@jasonmon A brilliant and insightful analysis, as always. But I should let you know - I wasn’t talking about the bed.

Just put on the blonde wig already so I can call you purdy.

@funkmasterrex I definitely got the toxic femininity but I didn’t understand the Lilith comparison. Can you explain?

In other words, any mitochondria that leaves its host cell becomes the Aaron Hernandez of the cellular world. That’s right, mitochondria. Get back over here and put on this blonde wig so I can tell you how purdy you look tonight. And don’t forget those cigarettes and rations I told you about a few minutes ago.

1) Freedom of speech
2) Freedom of worship
3) Freedom from want
4) Freedom from fear
I just learned something new today. Thank you.

You are not stupid by any means. But you probably are just okay at tests.

The hit man who becomes a meth dealer. He’ll likely have a very black-and-white code of ethics from his years as a hit man that you can analyze to make good guesses about his presumably rule-based behavior. A meth dealer who becomes a hit man is a drug dealer with a gun and an incentive to use it.

I think that’s actually why cells have mitochondria. Big predator cell ate small prey cell that figured out it wouldn’t get digested if it threw off a bunch of energy which allowed predator cell to be stronger and more advanced. The symbiotic relationship ‘magically’ became how cells evolved to have mitochondria. I know this because I’m Bill Nye. Can confirm.

Indeed. Thirded.

For those who are wondering, I got out of there fast. I also quit swimming that day for good. My parents didn’t understand why I spontaneously quit, especially since I was really good. My dad said ‘you’re pissing away the opportunity of a lifetime.’ And he was kind of right. I didn’t have the heart to tell them. I’d been swimming with this coach since I was six. He became a family friend over the years. It’s a shame that happened. But everything worked out in the end (i.e., college has long since been paid for, LOL.). Such is life...

Your mother is so ugly that she started volunteering at the children’s ward of the hospital’s burn unit to help children disfigured by fire realize that it’s not the look of your face that matters, it’s the content of your heart.