granlobomalo

granlobomalo


"All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
I huffed and I puffed,
And the house blew apart,
I’m leaving for now,
But you’re all in my heart.
[Feb 2019]

— granlobomalo Report User
The important things in life! 19 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
@veryhairybeary I’m certain you’re quite the handsome fellow. Surely, another ‘very hairy beary’ can’t be wrong about this sort of thing. Chin up!
Anon helps the Retarded 7 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Well, most of us.
6 · Edited 5 years ago
When they have a designated lane and prefer to use the car lane instead 4 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Interpretation: Many years ago, a black cat terrorized a young girl merely out of spite. The sneaky cat would routinely dash out of nowhere to frighten the girl’s friends, pretend to be injured by them, and most notoriously, caused utter mayhem for the girl on an important night where she had somewhere even more important to be. That night, the girl’s closest friend came to her defense and frightened the cat so terribly that it jumped out of a tall tower window for fear. Everyone thought the cat surely must be dead. But he landed on his feet and lived, supposedly (they guessed) because he had lives to spare. The black cat was named Lucifer. And the young girl was called... Cinderella.
@mrscollector Disney Princess Hypothesis: Supported
· Edited 5 years ago
It's funny because I had autism anyways 1 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Let’s not forget the HPV vaccine, too. Easy to miss since it’s administered in late childhood or early adulthood rather than in your standard vaccine regimen as a baby. Personally, I think protection against genital warts and anal cancer is a nice thing to have. Wouldn’t you agree?
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T r u t h 92 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
@aviva Don’t worry. I wouldn’t eat you unless you were bringing treats to your grandmother. You’re safe. For now.
@t__v__t In case you didn’t know, @bethorien is my sworn mortal enemy (and favorite little miss sassy pants, but that’s another story). Anyway, I’ve noticed that she’s been much less sassy pantsy lately. So, I thought I would try - emphasis on try - being nice to her for once just in case something’s going on. It pained me tremendously. But I managed to do it. So don’t read too much into this. I’m still a wolf waiting for just the right moment to pounce.
2
T r u t h 92 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Fortnite was popular because it was free and you got free dance lessons. If I had Fortnite when I was in junior high, I wouldn’t have stood in the corner at the 8th grade formal afraid to ask the sassy @bethorien-like girl if she wanted to throw shapes.
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I cri 3 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Well, I suppose that’s one way to get rosy cheeks.
4
Over 9000+ 15 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
@jasonmon A brilliant and insightful analysis, as always. But I should let you know - I wasn’t talking about the bed.
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Over 9000+ 15 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Just put on the blonde wig already so I can call you purdy.
2
Women: TOXIC MASCULINITY REEE Also women: 24 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
@funkmasterrex I definitely got the toxic femininity but I didn’t understand the Lilith comparison. Can you explain?
· Edited 5 years ago
Over 9000+ 15 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
In other words, any mitochondria that leaves its host cell becomes the Aaron Hernandez of the cellular world. That’s right, mitochondria. Get back over here and put on this blonde wig so I can tell you how purdy you look tonight. And don’t forget those cigarettes and rations I told you about a few minutes ago.
2
WW2-era poster urging people to speak 'American' (whatever that is...) 20 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
1) Freedom of speech
2) Freedom of worship
3) Freedom from want
4) Freedom from fear
I just learned something new today. Thank you.
10 · Edited 5 years ago
I’m totally not photogenic 11 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
You are not stupid by any means. But you probably are just okay at tests.
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Sticky roomy roomy Chicken 10 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
The hit man who becomes a meth dealer. He’ll likely have a very black-and-white code of ethics from his years as a hit man that you can analyze to make good guesses about his presumably rule-based behavior. A meth dealer who becomes a hit man is a drug dealer with a gun and an incentive to use it.
7 · Edited 5 years ago
Over 9000+ 15 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
I think that’s actually why cells have mitochondria. Big predator cell ate small prey cell that figured out it wouldn’t get digested if it threw off a bunch of energy which allowed predator cell to be stronger and more advanced. The symbiotic relationship ‘magically’ became how cells evolved to have mitochondria. I know this because I’m Bill Nye. Can confirm.
3
Don't forget having the fan on 8 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Indeed. Thirded.
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Over 9000+ 15 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Because a larger predator cell swallowed you and to avoid death you decided to give it all of your excess energy in exchange for protection and this relationship of the weak sacrificing their most valuable assets in order to survive eventually became embedded in the genetic code of all organisms in your ecosystem? Because if so, gimme your cigarettes, gimme your rations, and I’ll be taking the top bunk.
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And you wonder: What’s going on inside of their head? 3 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Hide and Seek: Ultimate Edition
Wait a second hold up 7 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Shrek made $484 million on a $60 million budget. Solo made $393 million on a $275 million budget. I think the public has decided who the real hero is here.
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I didn’t forget, it just still annoys me 1 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Well, funk me. I’d never thought about ship this way before. Gold dam autocorrect.
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We all need this update 5 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Hardware upgrade improves response time to eliminate OHK toe stub deaths
1
Who else can smell this picture? 4 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
For those who are wondering, I got out of there fast. I also quit swimming that day for good. My parents didn’t understand why I spontaneously quit, especially since I was really good. My dad said ‘you’re pissing away the opportunity of a lifetime.’ And he was kind of right. I didn’t have the heart to tell them. I’d been swimming with this coach since I was six. He became a family friend over the years. It’s a shame that happened. But everything worked out in the end (i.e., college has long since been paid for, LOL.). Such is life...
6 · Edited 5 years ago
Don't insult me like that 8 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
I was measuring the size of the diamond for your engagement ring.
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No need to waste easy money 3 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
It’s really rare to find a male escort or masseur in a major metropolitan area for under $100/hour. I mean, they exist but you get what you pay for. So, if you’re giving up the goods for $10, which really isn’t even enough to support your likely crystal meth habit without at least two customers a night, then I’m afraid you’re really selling yourself short. Respect yourself. (I learned all of this on Wikipedia doing research on a project to help a friend.)
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Who else can smell this picture? 4 comments
granlobomalo · 5 years ago
Uh, this picture smells like my high school swimming coach telling me that I have all of the potential to swim competitively in college on full scholarship and, if I trust him, he can help make sure that happens. As he reaches for my Speedos and closes the door.
4 · Edited 5 years ago