I suppose it’s not as “simple and catchy” or easily actionable- but... I suppose the rape away is that rejecting anyone for simple, common flaws that you can live with; or accepting anyone into your life- even when they cause you harm or distress- is generally not healthy. Knowing when to compromise vs when to walk away. You can be 50 and alone and unhappy- but just as easy you could be 50 and not alone and still unhappy- or if it’s bad enough, maybe you don’t live until 50. Practice self care, but be reasonable about rejecting people over trivial matters.

Like most things in life- it’s circumstantial and usually best served through balance. As you say- things can be BAD. So bad that the only way to get “Well” and the only way to heal is to walk away. We are the “owners” of our thoughts and feelings- but the things around us and the people in our lives influence those things strongly.

Imperfect example- don’t go dissecting it in nuance. Broad stroke concepts here: You want dinner. You can cook dinner, or you can get take out. Cooking has work, costs, and of course- mess involved. If you want to have the end result without the mess and trouble- there you go. Surrogates and others will “cook” for others without being the one to benefit from the final product. So just as a chef may cook a meal even if they aren’t hungry- a person can want to birth a child but not raise it, a person may want to raise a child but not birth one, and a person who isn’t hungry and doesn’t want to cook- a person who doesn’t want to birth or raise kids- isn’t interested in either even if they like to crack eggs or pound meat.

It’s conflating two things illogically. We might as well say: “anyone who doesn’t want a baby should not e legally allowed to have sex.” All 3 things are related. Having sex, pregnancy and giving birth, and raising that child- they are not however interchangeable. Speaking of adoption- some people adopt who cannot create and carry a fetus- but many adopt because they do not WANT to.

Lacy is likely more knowledgeable on this than me- so doesn’t need my agreement. But to follow up to the original statement- yes. As a GENERAL rule- most religious authorities of major Muslim delegations rule that the INTENT and what is in your heart when you pray is more important than the rituals of prayer. The rituals of prayer are symbolic- and one SHOULD make every practical effort to either follow them- or to perform their “best substitution” based on practical constraints. No water to wash before? Use sand. Sand is toxic where you are? Pretend- “air clean” yourself. It’s more important to have faith and hold the true beliefs and respect for God but get all the rites “wrong” than it is to follow every tiny nuance of ritual but not truly believe or respect God. Ideally religion asks for both- but if it is one or the other- the important one is living and thinking “right.”

Respect, awareness, sensitivity. Not fear. And well.... the doctor is kinda wrong too. What kind of doctor tells someone they should fear a preventable disease? Is that the message we should spread for COVID or AIDS? BE AFRAID OF IT!!!! No. Be aware of it. Be aware it can be prevented. Be educated. Be safe. Be smart. Be sensitive to those who have it. All good messages for diseases. Be afraid? Not the message a healthcare professional should be advocating.

The doctor could have said that her costume was not appropriate. Personally- I’d agree with you. That I feel in 2020- making that statement on a public forum is inappropriate. But..... then again.... “edge” right? Most of what Dave Chappell has done comedically has been “inappropriate” “offensive” or “insensitive” but sometimes- that brand of humor is a useful tool in shocking people. Ironically- part of why he ended his show was because he felt people were missing the satire of his outrageousness and laughing AT the stereotypes and not at the idea of those who hold those stereotypes. Is this woman “right” in her actions? From what I see, I don’t think I approve. But- context is key, and beyond that- the rebuttal is hinges upon the wrong premise. Nothing the doctor said should imply fear.

You aren’t likely to get near universally agreed upon hard answers to these questions anytime soon. I’m also not saying it is ok to dress up as a Nazi or that it isn’t ok to dress up as a Knight. I’m saying that wether a costume is APPROPRIATE and wether it is SCARY are not the same thing. I am not SCARED of Ho Chi Minh- and in America in 2020 he is nothing to be afraid of. Would it be APPROPRIATE to dress up as Ho Chi Minh? Maybe not. Is it APPROPRIATE to mock him, or to deify him...? Not relevant to the discussion. The discussion is fear.

But- what about confederate soldier? People have whole events dressing that way- but “confederate soldier” is generally more an acceptable costume than... Taliban or ISIS fighter isn’t it? What about Vikings? The ancient culture of another race- and often a terror in ancient Europe. What about dressing as a knight of certain periods and the connection that has to the crusades and the slaughter, pillage, rapes across Africa and the Muslim world? How topical does the differing have to be for us to say it is valid? How recent?

And what is the outrage at cultural appropriation? In large part history. A representation of victim/victimizer. Is “black face” just a big deal because it looks like you’re making fun of how people of color look- or if you look into it- is it because of a history of repression and subjugation- of one sided taking of one group from another? History is the evil there. We mostly agree “Nazi” or “Plantation space driver” aren’t appropriate costumes yes?

I’m not feeling up to debating what is or is not appropriate for a Halloween costume. If you said “rapists aren’t scary....” from your personal perspective- that’s your personal feeling towards rapists. One could also not think rapists are scary- but still think they are repugnant. is “rapist” an appropriate Halloween costume? I don’t think it is. That said- you can find pages and pages on google over wether or not “Indian” or any number of things are appropriate costumes. On this very site you’ll find debates about “cultural appropriation” for example- if it exists- what is or isn’t. I’m
Sure we’ve all seen the “I’m not a Halloween costume” or “my culture isn’t your costume” PSA’s and subsequent mocking memes.

Mind you- I’m not defending the current system in such a way that I support it- I’m merely saying that it is an imperfect solution to an imperfect problem. The same is true of schools of course- and as always- society shoulders some or much blame. Parents and tax payers want to know their children are getting an education or that tax dollars aren’t being squandered.

That’s the dad state. And we need a better system. The truth is that- Yes. We need SOME metric of performance- and unless/until we’d have a socially manageable system to give every child a dedicated and properly matched educator- or at least better ratios of students to teachers- it can’t be perfect or so complex. There’s all these factors to consider and well- education is not only VERY abstract- but what is success? The class clown can grow up to be a billionaire and the class genius can be a drug addict burger flipper or work a low wage job in some company. So not only are questions of how we quantify “success” of an education at odds- but the fact that you really can’t see how well a student will use that education for decades likely.

But to put a fine point on it- I am not SCARED a piece of the ISS will fall on me and kill me. It COULD. That would be HORRIBLE (for me, and likely some folks who know me...) but scary? No. It’s unlikely. Now- why would I be scared about people I don’t know getting measles- or even people suffering for that matter? I would try to avoid it, I would find it terrible if it happened- but would I be SCARED of it? No. I would not. I’m not scared of getting measles, I don’t want to get measles. I’m also not SCARED of jury duty- but I’d rather not have that either. So... technically speaking... is measles SCARY? Well.... that depends. But I’m not scared of COVID either- fear is generally illogical. We can prepare, take precautions, and what will happen happens. But are people afraid of the dark- or what it hides or represents? I think it’s fair for some people to not FEAR measles- much like many things though- a healthy level of respect to potential danger is prudent.

I will say this: without ANY context- we cannot assume she is “antivax.” The Doctor MAY have seen other posts of hers- or for all I know she is some prominent antivax “influencer”... but with NO context- for a person immunized against measles- measles isn’t really scary is it? Sorta like saying that you aren’t scared of giving birth- when you biologically cannot do it (or very, very, likely cannot.)

To the contrary- many religious folks would tell you they believe they have the answers to those questions. In fact- that’s kinda what most religions are isn’t it? Someone’s search for- or answer for- questions about the purpose of life? But people commonly dislike when others bring their religion- their theories on purpose- and wave it around right?

Agreed. If by “nobody” they mean “the average person...” my question becomes- how many of those people have you gotten to know, deeply, and spent loads of time with? There’s an “immature wisdom” in the statement- the kid who reads something for the first time and thinks they have come into some deep and hidden knowledge surely no one else could know. But the fact that everyone you meet doesn’t walk around spewing their life philosophy and doubts or quandaries in what is the universe... doesn’t mean they do t have their questions... or their own answers.

The education system is far from perfect. Something designed to be “ok” for lots of people is seldom “good” or “great” for any one person. But that said- as sweet as the idea is- I think this misses the supposed point of an education- and more importantly, shows what is wrong with the system. It’s actually sad. Giving someone else your bonus points on a test- as if their score or grade is what really matters and not that they learn the information.... that’s one of the biggest and most critical faults to fix with most modern schools. The score is supposed to reflect ones knowledge and ability to demonstrate it- the point isn’t to get a high score though, it is to learn.

As with most things- the wealthy do things because they can, the less wealthy then emulate those things to make themselves look and feel more wealthy. Also with most things- humans tend to try to be creative and elaborate. Nail polish and the like are like jewelry or fine fashion for the nails. Historically this would separate the wealthy elite from the less wealthy or “pretend wealthy” since you’d need to be able to afford things like polish and such which have no functional purpose but exist as luxuries and display one has disposable income for things that aren’t needed- time to do these things, and the ability to maintain them.

Similarly- a woman working Fields or doing much manual labor or chores would have difficulty keeping long nails historically- especially pristine ones. Long nails would then be a sign a woman had house gold help, and herself or (historically) her husband was well off enough that she didn’t have to do manual work herself.

To grow out ones nails “correctly” requires having strong, healthy nails that are groomed. Weak nails can be a sign of malnutrition, health issues, or genetics that aren’t particularly strong. Tying in to money/social place- is that in many cultures long nails are, or have been- symbols of wealth. Often for men in may be just a pinky nail (which some might think is a “coke nail”, ) which shows a man has a job where he doesn’t work with his hands- since long nails would break or be hard to keep clean. Usually not working with ones hands is social sign of wealth and power. You have people to do hand work for you.