lol. I appreciate your perspective. I have some knowledge on the relative homogeny and certain recent historical or other things that Americans or foreigners may consider awkward or problematic- of some of the Scandinavian countries but as an outsider I have always had curiosity to get more perspective from those who grew up in the culture.
It’s interesting too how white supremacists tend to look generally ideologically silly to everyone but white supremacists regardless of the background one comes from. Lol.

Indeed. Cliche but true- “winners” in war are subjective and while we usually use “sides” to define conflict- at best that can only tell us the military victors, not the “winner.” To put it another way- the people do not always have things better when a government or elite class do well in a war.

Most people couldn’t even remember the jokes from DC’s infamous specials right after it ended, just that it was funny (or to some not) and that some of it was seen as anti trans. These comedians and media talking heads bemoaning cancellation aren’t saying anything that society at large will remember in 10 years let alone 40. They aren’t risking anything except a 5th mansion if they have to retire with only the millions they’ve made up until now.
They aren’t slogans and jokes that most people can use in every day life and that resonate and leave a generation contemplating why it is such a big deal to say “those words” or examining corruption. They’re topical “fart jokes.” Some more clever than others but there is no deeper truth or wisdom- just people trying to make their fart jokes seem poignant by associating them with some concept that accountability is the death of “freedom.”

.. spoilage or other potential issues and hazards. Of course it is generally easier to spread room temperature or warm peanut butter than cold peanut butter out of the fridge- so preference for consistency etc. play a part. All in all any individual storage of peanut butter is just that- individual. Based on circumstances like climate and how long a jar of peanut butter lasts you or your preferences. If you plan to keep peanut butter longer than a few months you generally should refrigerate it at least once it has been on the shelf a few months.

It is a complicated topic and there are reasons to be wary, for example the government regulates pharmacom and could theoretically easily force pricing caps on companies or leverage that for bargaining- but that raises concerns over freedom in commerce. A slippery slope of strong arm tactics and an open door to persons in power to abuse well meaning precedent. It is also the case that the US government doesn’t always run things the best or most efficiently. Government ran systems are often a major point of issue. The quality and inequity in public compulsory education for example and the compensation of teachers or availability of resources.

Well said and great points. There are quite a few dirty not so secrets about the US healthcare system. One of the only countries that allows prescription medication to be marketed directly to consumers, stockpiles of government and even private purchased supplies and medications that expire unused rather than supplying them to people who need them but can’t pay or don’t meet qualification criteria… all sorts of fun stuff. Now, I do want to say that for those able to navigate and/or afford the tangled mess of US healthcare, it is an advanced system and there are problems faced in other countries health care systems which aren’t common or present in general in US healthcare.
I also want to say that isn’t an excuse- other countries do have issues in their systems but at least in theory the US system could be improved and reformed without falling into those same problems.

One of the saddest things someone car say is “my greatest accomplishment is my children..” wow. You caught or pitched a cream pie and managed to not kill it for almost two whole decades. Good star. The thing is that while parents are instrumental in shaping kids- kids are their own people. You can’t and generally shouldn’t take credit for them. What they accomplish is theirs. To say they are your greatest accomplishment is to take away from who they are. It is to take away from who you are. What did YOU do? Well heck. It’s up to you

You maybe try and fill the space between with bs hobbies or charities. Maybe you cheat, get a divorce, become parent to a sugar baby or explore the things you never did for 18-20 whatever years because you were too busy living their life. Maybe you just live for them to call you and tell you what they are doing so you get a taste of someone living life. You wait or pressure for grand kids so you can get a hot of that nostalgia and have an identity again as “grandparent.” Pass all your advice on and relive stories of when your kids were that age. Because you have nothing else. You’re no one. Not because you aren’t rich or accomplished or whatever- literally- you aren’t a person. You’re a support system for a child that doesn’t need you. “They’ll always need me!” Metaphorically. Emotionally maybe. Actually NEED you? Probably not if they wet raised to be a self sufficient and complete human.

I was a dumb ass selfish kid and I could have done better by him. I learned a lot though, and I said “next time you’ll do better.” I’d like to think I have and the evidence seems to indicate so. But my point is that wether you do a shit job and they thank you or do a great job and they hate you- part of that is them. You think being a parent is magic? You wake up and know what to do and you stop having feelings and your own wants and shit? You stop being a person? Some people think so. Or they think that’s how it’s supposed to be. Nah. Parenting is a huge responsibility and privilege. At times amazing and others terrible. But you never stop being you unless you’re one of those people who wraps yourself in your child and lives through them until they leave the nest and leave you broken and empty.

Blah blah. I’ve been very lucky or done something right in that no child I’ve raised has come back to pin their life list of disappointments on me, but I feel I could have done better in places. I look at some things sometimes and I say- wow. This young man’s life isn’t the life of want and maybe if I had done this or that… but.. it’s his life. His choices. People tell me “you can’t beat yourself up for choices you made at that age…” “no one could expect more from you…” but- I do. At the time I did. There were times I could do more and I was selfish. To be clear this isn’t my kid, this young man. The first kid I raised. I was a teen, still in high school and he didn’t have parents. Long story short it was on me to keep the rent paid and the bills and to make sure he stayed out of trouble and did his work. And while I’m making sure he’s out of trouble, I was getting into it.

Pardon me, but in your early 20’s and your husband just died and you have his medical bills and your grief and are working full time and still functioning as a mother and taking care of a house on your limited single non graduate income… I think it is understandable you wouldn’t do super great. No matter what you do your kids will hate you or not. Too close, not close enough. Too involved, not involved enough. Too protective. Not protective enough. Other kids parents did this or that, you pushed them too hard. You pushed them not hard enough. If your kids are the sort who are going to blame you for their lives no matter what- anything wrong they’ll blame you. They have a great career but are socially isolated? Your fault. They have a great family but not enough money? Your fault. They didn’t pursue their dreams and settled for a grounded life- your fault. They went after a dream and it didn’t happen and now they are struggling- your fault.

Well- that’s my take. Do you. There is more than one way to parent and we haven’t found “THE” way yet. I never cared if the kids liked me or even love me. My job was always to teach them, guide them, support them, and make sure they had the tools to live a life they chose. I had an ex who hated her mother. I lived her mom. Wonderful woman. My ex grew up poor. Her mom did everything a young poor mother knew how to do to try and do the best by her child and for being poor her mother made sure that she and others couldn’t really tell. She had new clothes and went to good schools and did the activities and had parties. But she resented her mother. She always said she wished her mother had done better in life and set her up better. She always said that her mother- who was a poor single divorced mom who’s second husband died and left nothing- was too self centered while she was grieving her step dad.

The hardest thing about this sort of thing is delayed gratification. Putting asides what you want today for a larger return in the future. Controlling your impatience and feelings. Not making excuses. Not saying “but if I go back to school I won’t have time for my two year old…” blood, less than 1% of the population remembers being 2. Make your cameos and be there when you can but go get your life together so that by the time they are 4,6 and for the rest of their life you can be there more readily and presently. So that you can have the security to enjoy your time together and so that you can set an example. So that they can remember their parents as caring and attentive but hard working and with goals.

So I dunnoh. For sure I think you shouldn’t be constantly working late when that work isn’t getting you anywhere or is just helping you tread water. Put the work where it matters. To borrow the cliche- work smarter not harder. Be smart not greedy. Do the work you need to do to have what you want and then don’t just keep inflating your lifestyle so you have to keep doing those things to make money. Make the money and live like you make less than you do until you have built up your wealth and have more freedom.

You can find jobs you work a few months straight and are off the rest of the year and some of these pay a quarter million dollars a year or more. And that’s the thing- you don’t have to do it forever. If you do that for a few years and live frugal, you can often invest and buy property and get a job that is less demanding and pays less but allows flexibility or start a business etc. starting a business is another example where for some years you might barely have any time for anything else but within a few years you can be rich enough to never work again if you choose. It’s all in how you play the cards.

There are usually levels to these things. You can find a job that pays almost nothing and the hours are long. Practical or literal slave labor. Picking fruit for 14 hours for $20 a day. Above that is a job where you work 4-8 hours a day and maybe make $20-80 a day. Above that is a job where you work 10-14 hours a day and make $100-150 a day. Above that is a job that you work 8-10 hours and make $150-200. You can keep climbing this ladder and at some point you may need degrees or certificates or other special credentials that you’ll need to work towards to break that next wall. It’s an odd thing but you can reach a point in many or most fields or careers where you start getting paid more to work less because your abilities or knowledge are increasingly specialized and valuable.

Humans have raised kids since cave man days. Animals raise offspring. It can be stressful and such but it isn’t exactly rocket science and even terrible parents have raised amazing and successful children. Amazing and successful parents have raised little shits that do nothing.
And at the end of the day- your life is your problem. If the job needs done by Monday for us to all have a job Tuesday or get paid- I don’t care about your kids. You figure that out. Maybe you’re in the wrong business. That’s for you. That’s personal. The job is the job. Do the job or do something else. You want the money, do the work that makes the money. You don’t want to do what it takes then let someone who will have your spot and go do something else.

always there. He’s my pal- but he was nobody in that sense. He didn’t earn a lot or have much. He didn’t go places and do things. He didn’t have the time or money or even the drive to chase the things he loved or go after his dreams. He was not a happy man in his life but he needed to convince himself he was. He needed to convince others he was. He needed to not feel like he was stuck and didn’t “measure up.” To be clear I’m not saying being a parent makes you “nobody,” I’m saying that your kids are part of your life, for most people the most important part, but your home or your relationship or your job or your hobbies are part of your life too. If we take this part or that part away- who are you?

So I don’t much care for it when people use their kids as shields or justifications. When they create this identity of “parent above all” because they have nothing else to give them a sense of accomplishment or because their egos demand it.
I had a pal like that. He never got a degree and never picked up a trade or any marketable skills. He joined the reserves and had kids. Anytime at parties or gatherings etc. when people were taking and what they did came up or they were just discussing things like trips or whatever else- out came those cards. “I wouldn’t know because while you were traveling the world for your own sake I was raising my beautiful children as a super dad..”
“Oh, you’re a big shot lawyer and probably make $225k plus a year and I make $40k? Well- I’m in the reserves. I protect my nation and make it possible for you to have your life. My job has honor and…”
He didn’t actually say things EXACTLY like that- though once or twice while drinking he came close. But it was

But you’ll win or you won’t. That’s not up to you. Your kids might appreciate and be grateful to everything you’ve sacrificed for them. When they have a good job and are secure financially and comfortable and find the love of their life and a family and they have a fulfilling career and flexibility- or when they are struggling to make ends meet and balance all the things in life- they may remember you working late and they might love you even more and thank you even more because they understand that you sacrificed for them. To make sure they could have a future or a present.
Or they might hate you. Their life can turn out great and they can have great memories and wether you were always there or never there or there most of the time- it doesn’t matter. The values you teach will help shape them but their peers and their own world view will shape how they feel and you can give them the most wonderful life that people wish for and they hate you.