I also believe that nothing changed. There is nothing in the photographers story that implies that it was ever insinuated or states that they’d receive food or breaks or anything but $250 after photographing the entire wedding.
It is best to comunícate clearly in general, but when you make a contract you need to be sure everything you want is in the contract. This is union 101, business 101. Never rely on the “common sense” or benevolence etc. of another in a contract as a contract only promises what is in the contact. Get what you want agreed upon when you make the contract, not after.

or need reminding of “that time that…” the couple on the other,
Should they last together especially, might remember and think if that day for life. You tend to remember and place much more significance in your wedding than you do on missing a meal or two or a hard days labor.
And ultimately in my mind- it doesn’t matter if you knew what you were getting into.
If you say you’ll do something, especially if you take a job, you’ve committed to it. If you find out it’s more than you bargained for you have learned something. You might never do that again or you might know next time to ask for more etc. but you finish the job because you agreed to do it. Agreeing to something you don’t understand is your foolish mistake and if nothing else a lesson should be to not agree or commit to things of you don’t actually know what you are agreeing to.

The couple was certainly thoughtless of the photographer regardless of the circumstances or stresses etc. and asked a lot without seeming to appreciate not only the importance he played but that he was doing them a very big courtesy.
The photographer for his part destroyed the records of such an important day in their lives, records they can’t get back, over discomfort and hurt feelings. Unless they had a medical condition going less than 24 hours without food and being slightly under hydrated is unlikely to prove fatal or even particularly damaging.
Nothing the photographer does could undo their actions even if they later changed their mind and felt bad or some sort of cortical information that might change the perception came to light later.
In one year, ten. Twenty, more than that- it is very unlikely the photographer will have any strong recollection of the feelings of hunger and fatigue. If not for the novelty and most friendship they may not even remember the day at all

The photographer should maybe have brought more water for an all day event than two bottles, and a snack or lunch might have been prudent even if they were being fed. Being their first wedding as a photographer though they could be excused for not being prepared like a pro or knowing to talk through breaks or plan their shoot and work with the wedding party on places they might be able to take breaks or at least the critical shots and timing.
The couple likely didn’t think of these things either and perhaps were overwhelmed with details and other things and didn’t think it out. They may have thought the photographer took care of all that or it would work itself out- maybe not considering both that their photographer knew no more about the process than them. At the minimum even if they couldn’t afford another a plate for the photographer they could have provided access to water and maybe bought a less expensive meal for the photographer to have something to eat.

I don’t think the photographer was out of line to be upset. Such a reasonable and basic request should have been filled, and not only would it have been courteous in general at a wedding to offer the photographer a meal, but it would be much wiser to provide food and water on site so the photographer might have a “working lunch” and minimize the time they were unable to shoot.
I also understand that if the couple really was on such a tight budget, and from the sound of things, they likely didn’t have a wedding planner or staff. They may not have been able to bear the expense of another plate, and…
For both the photographer and likely the couple this was their first time experiencing a wedding from the respective POV’s they were in. The photographer didn’t likely know what they were actually agreeing to when they said yes and the bride and groom may not have known the etiquete or how these things generally work.

So there are women and men etc. out there who don’t want a traditional man. There are those who value people as they are and aren’t so concerned with genitals of others as you and those in your circle seem to be. I don’t ask or care what genitals people have when I hire them or befriend them etc. because for my line of work and my lifestyle- your genitals aren’t really very important to me and if they are I probably know what you have already. So I dunnoh man. Maybe your life would be easier if you got some more sleep and thought about peoples genitals less?

I’ve never had a relationship with a woman who believed that it was her partners job to earn all her money, who didn’t speak her mind when compelled, who felt obligated to please me and be obedient. I’ve always been the cook, I’ve never had a partner act as a mother or a maid. Frankly it would freak me out to be with someone who behaved that way and no offense to more “traditionally” minded folks- but if I wanted that I could just pay an escort and get rid of them when I was tired of them or their sh*t. If we take the traditional archetype applied by society to women- that generally isn’t what I look for in partners. A “caregiver” or a “nurturer” or a “subservient.”

This is where it could help to have a broader spectrum of gender roles. As is we have a hodge podge of descriptors and ideas such that people use and apply. In place of a better system of classification it falls on men to redifine our gender roles or to simply assert our own identity and dissociate from our gender roles to just be ourselves and not worry about if we are correctly behaving to match our genitals.
If a “man” is supposed to be capable and strong and emotionally inexpressive and such- if a “man” is judged by the size of his penis and all this… maybe you don’t want to be a man or aren’t cut out for it…? Why does so much identity- especially make identity- need to come from being a man?

Even in the modern day women are often viewed as weaker or less capable And needing protection. A generally harsh and cruel system and society does at times coddle or dote on women and children in ways that it generally doesn’t do for men because men are seen as competent or capable or strong. Not all men are these things in the ways that society traditionally ascribes to men. Some men need to be coddled or aren’t capable etc. it is difficult because we tend to think in binary gender and binary gender roles but what do you do when you have someone who lacks the qualities traditionally attributed and expected of a man but isn’t a woman or doesn’t want to be identified as a woman?

If ever someone accidentally stumbles on their secrets or some anti vampire force sniffs them out or seems to being growing suspicious they may just go invent a new faith and a new code book. The modern age has seen vampires both blessed in that they have the freedom to more easily create small faiths that go ignored and religious tolerance grants them more leeway, but as is evidenced by all the schisms and novel religions that keep popping up, the Information Age also put them at greater risk of discovery by those forces working against them and forces them to more frequently adapt to stay ahead.

It isn’t suspicious that certain groups would meet regularly or carry a book everywhere or have multiple copies under the guise of religion. It provides legitimate cover stories and one central narrative to keep everyone’s cover consistent. It can be used as a tool
To cultivate and gather those who aren’t in on the secrets but who unknowingly are playing into the will of the vampire cabal. As the books and their non coded knowledge gets out, it becomes too difficult to remain attached to that cover and stay in control while not being noticed. The odds of discovery of the secret meanings and such in the books becomes greater. The vampires abandon that cover and create a new one to hide their secret coded messages and procedures and rules. The disgraced faiths sometimes languish and vanish and other times carry on a life of their own.

Language is very important. Language does have power. The words we choose to say things, the things we chose to say and when and where and how we say them.. we can have a lot of psychological impact with words. We can influence people subtly and not so subtly. There is art and science to it. Like many tools it can be wise to not use language carelessly, especially when one doesn’t have legitimate need to use the tool and just feels like using it for the sake of using it. Adults who don’t know each other can generally be respectful to assume a stranger using a tool knows what they are doing until they demonstrate otherwise. So it would be a bit disrespectful in general to assume someone didn’t purposefully choose their words to convey their precise point.

This is the game. That’s a really simple version of how it is played. So maybe it was an honest omission. Maybe you didn’t mention other fruits because they truly and logically and defensibly aren’t relevant to the discussion and this discussion takes precedence. Perhaps not. Perhaps you have a bias you didn’t know about or perhaps you were being intentional in your use of language.

The opposition can call in scientists to explain it and offer imperfect dumbed down synopses but that’s science. I can bring scientists to refute that with conflicting interpretations. I Can pick holes in the imperfect simplified version you were given because it had to be imperfect and simple for you to get. The holes aren’t in the science but in how it was explained to you- semantics and word play. But once my scientists start poking holes in the “official story” there is doubt or justifications for the doubt people felt already. How will the opposition dispute or argue my cute picture of seals set to heart breaking music..? Saying seals aren’t that cute probably won’t refute how cute the seals are and likely will lose them support.

A child will generally favor someone who gives them what they want even if that thing has long term negative consequences and adults aren’t so far apart in that regard.
I give you candy but this “jerk” over here doesn’t want you to have candy!
I write a bill to save the lives of adorable baby seals that will cause a complex chain of ecological events that will lead to long term decimation of a type of krill that feeds moray eels- but that isn’t really sexy or fun or feel good and is a more complex argument to make. Seals are cute and eels and krill are usually less photogenic to most. Explaining how the seal saving bill won’t likely do much for the hood of the seals but will damage the local environment is boring and too complex for many to even grasp.

It is also true that often times intolerance and malice walk under the protections of ambiguity or gaslighting. It’s generally a no lose game. Normalize the exclusion or marginalization of a group. If you are called out, flip it so that the people calling you on your plot look over dramatic or sensitive or unreasonable. It’s relatively simple to engineer social situations where you can bait others in ways that if you are un opposed you gain ground and if you are opposed you can cause them loss of face or loss of ground. A common political strategy is to try and engage the opposition in such ways.

So I mean- look, real talk- some people are crazy sensitive or even really are just looking for a fight or argument. Trolls exist across issues and such as well and often just want to stir up mess. So there are people who will go far beyond what most people, even sympathetic people, will consider reasonable. That said- to take the opposite extreme and start labeling valid concern or trauma response or prudent defense of self interest in the face of history as being over sensitive is also not quite the way to go about it.

To each of these people their needs are very important, but writing out 20 doctors notes to excuse absences is maybe less pressing than your issue. Most of us would be upset to sit for hours while we or a child or loved one suffered a broken bone because the doctor was doing paper work. Paperwork is important and needs doing but… you’d likely be pissed. But what if your broken leg wasn't treated and didn’t heal for years or decades, there was always some other things to do first that seemed more important in the moment or people figured if you waited that long you could wait awhile longer or learn to live with it…? What if they told you “why don’t you fix it yourself then…?”

It’s simple, logical, human nature. And even more so if- you go to the hospital with a broken leg. You are waiting half an hour. You see a room open up. Instead of you they call in an old lady. Ok. Whatever is wrong with her is more serious. So you sit there in pain and wait. Two hours pass and 3 more people go in. You ask the desk when might be your turn. They tell you that they are seeing patients in priority order to please wait.
After 4 hours you are still waiting and now they are seeing patients with paper cuts, they are taking people who think they might have acne because they don’t see pimples but a comercial made them think they did. They are seeing people who just need doctors notes to be excused from work.

while you get the same grades and take the same classes but struggle to get tutoring work has anything to do with the fact your parents are always telling other parents how smart Alex is and putting their name out there? You think that maybe the mentorships and college tuition pledges Alex gets that you don’t could relate to the fact that even if your mom “totally meant you too..” that maybe people constantly hearing about Alex and what Alex needs and such might be driving that a bit?

Combine 1 and 2 and explore this scenario- you have an older sibling named Alex. You get good grades and try hard. Your parents are always talking about how well Alex does and how hard Alex tries. Whenever Alex has a problem they are pretty quick to help but you struggle to get help and they rarely if ever acknowledge your work and effort unless you specifically call them out.
Now, if your parents are talking to their friend and their friend says: “my kids are doing well in school..” and your parents say: “mine too. Alex gets such good grades and tries hard…”
Is it unreasonable for you to say: “I also get good grades and try hard!” And if your parent rolls their eyes and says: “you were included in that. I said MINE too. Relax and quit trying to turn everything into some dramatic thing..” what’s your take on that? You think that is a case where you’re being extra to think you are not being recognized or considered? You think that maybe Alex making hundreds a month tutoring kids

persistent or even what some might call pushy or aggressive in making sure people delivered what was promised?
How long before you developed certain sensitivities and experience based responses to when your needs and your thoughts and your well being are left out?
See- it doesn’t work to say that it is implied you considered someone when the historical evidence and statistical data shows that more often than not that person isn’t mentioned or considered and even when they are the evidence might suggest that they won’t be given what was promised regardless.