What I am saying is that it is called an alcohol problem if it is a problem. If it isn’t a problem it is called drinking. If someone likes to drink or be intoxicated and isn’t abusive or unable to function or causing others issues- it just comes down to a combination of practical factors like if you like who they are when they drink or if you can afford their habits etc, and moral factors like your feelings on substance use etc. someone who never uses cannabis might see a partner who uses it infrequently as having a problem and someone who uses once a month or only at parties might see a partner who uses every Friday as an issue etc. that’s relative between people. I once dated a woman who was nice enough sober but she was just an awesome drunk. Right until the point where she kept going and got black out throw up drunk and I had to clean her messes or our plans were ruined because she couldn’t function. This rarely happened, so most of the time if she wanted to drink a few it meant

The “peasant revolt” we see comes in forms like gangs and crime of necessity that often balloon into criminal culture. This often isn’t truly revolt as in many cases drugs, crime, poverty, have been engineered as a matter of record and historical fact by the government within certain communities in order to cripple meme era abilities to participate in society at large. In that sense, feeding into that criminal cycle is playing into the desires of those forces that sought to repress these communities and is actually a measure of self regulation. The middle class doesn’t revolt or resort to such things in large groups because they know they have things good. At the end of the day the average person can’t really see their life being vastly improved through some sort of revolt. So it’s basically edge lord whining.

.. because they occupy a position that many people want and doesn’t require much in the way of special ability or skill or output to achieve. People who are appeared from the “peasant class” primarily by luck or inborn advantages wether they care to admit those things or not, or argue how they are self made because they believe that only rich people have privilege or advantage. To the point of this meme- simply having parents who can read or aren’t hooked on street drugs are life advantages not everyone is born with and can help shape one’s life and separate someone truly in danger of starvation from someone who just can’t eat well all the time. Yes- a cashier or fast food worker or tradesperson etc. can have “advantage,” you don’t need to be rich or white collar.

Using the aforementioned food waste as an example, simply scavenging food waste is generally sufficient for survival. Malnutrition, hunger, both are still real concerns, but the majority of people have our basic needs met better than almost any comprable socioeconomic group in history. This doesn’t mean that we have no starvation or hunger or no one lacks basic needs or struggles to meet them, and it also doesn’t mean we can’t do better. That’s what advancement is about generally- doing better. It’s just that sentiments like these are often middle class fears from people who do not actually have such dramatic problems and likely never have. A large part of why “peasant uprising” and such has not caught on in the USA is because it isn’t a “peasant class” that generally has these sorts of complaints but a middle class upset that steak prices force them to eat chicken or ground beef several days a week. People who have anxiety about losing their social position if they stop competing..

You aren’t trans phobic for not dating a trans person but you might be transphobic or have a prejudice/bias if you refuse to date someone who is otherwise “perfect” for you and you find them attractive but say no just because they are trans.
This isn’t hard you dingos.
Instead of looking at who you are “supposed” to be attracted to and only dating people that for your self image, instead pay attention to who you ARE attracted to and adjust your self image to the reality. If you look at someone, talk with them etc. and they aren’t attractive to you it doesn’t matter if they are trans or not- you don’t like them. If you find them attractive- you find them attractive. That’s pretty self evident and trying to convince yourself otherwise is a self delusion to preserve some self image you have about your sexuality.

But look- when it is all said and done we have the right to date who we want for whatever reasons we want. Some people will tell you nothing matters except that they are successful and will financially care for you. Others will tell you the only important thing is that they are compatible with you. Others will say none of it matters except a “spark” and there are thousands of other takes from people who only care that you look good and do what they want or keep quiet to people believe only what others think matters and so on. We each decide what we think is important or we need in a relationship and our lives are in part, a result of that.

Being very clear what I am saying is that if your only reason is you don’t want to date them because they are trans- not because of some inherent thing that comes from being trans- that is actually a literal definition of a prejudice.
“Should a straight guy date a gay guy then if they get along or else they are prejudiced?” Ignorant question but if we don’t ask ignorant questions we tend to stay ignorant. No man. Duh. Because you aren’t attracted to them right? Because if you’re a “straight guy” and you get hard looking at some dude and you feel drawn to him you probably aren’t “straight.” Not 100%. If everything is there that suggests you could be happy with this person and are compatible but you turn them away because of who they are and not some practical or tangible reason then what reason do you have? Think about it logically.

Understand that I don’t mean because if some issue related to them being trans. Look- you can be shallow. Many trans persons, many non trans- the person you see out in the world or at an event or on social can require a lot of effort to make appear. Many people don’t wake up looking like they do in their Instagram photos or on date night. It’s shallow, but if you don’t want to wake up next to someone that looks very different than who you went to bed with or be tied to that person if they decide they just don’t want to do their whole routine from now on- that’s valid. Shallow arguably, but valid. I’ve dated women who would sleep in makeup and wouldn’t let you see them until they had done their make up in the morning. They always looked ready for photos. I won’t say I disliked the results but to me that isn’t something I require or even necessarily want in a partner. That said- some people do want that. Shallow or not if that is you then that is you.

You have the choice to not date a trans person. Maybe you don’t click, you don’t share values or interest. There isn’t chemistry. Maybe you don’t find them attractive. Maybe you want kids and they can’t give you that. Maybe they are political and you aren’t attracted to political people or don’t want to involve politics in your life like that. Maybe you just don’t find them attractive looking. None of these are invalid reasons to date someone. Some might argue superficial or shallow or short sighted or picky on some- but not invalid. Of course if you meet someone.. you get along, you have chemistry, you find them physically attractive, you share values, and you aren’t thinking about kids but you turn them away because they are trans exclusively- well that may be a problem right there.

It doesn’t make people bigots to not use their fucking genitals as an embassy to explore the world with. You’re also allowed to like and dislike certain traits. If you like blonde or red hair and find other colors unattractive then you probably won’t be attracted to many Asian people- of course some Asian people or mixed Asian people can have blonde or red hair and people can dye their hair- so there is a difference between not dating someone because they don’t have a certain hair color and not dating someone because of their race right?

You don’t have to hate poly people to not want to be in a relationship with a poly person. You likely have different ideas on fundamental aspects of relationships and if you aren’t experienced in polyamory you need to learn and adapt as you go to that- and you may not want to have to. This is true any time there are cultural differences. Maybe you want to learn about their culture or you both are willing to learn and compromise and navigate the things that can come up, opinions in your families or communities, differences in beliefs or preferences or traditions, conflicts in your upbringing or how to raise a child etc etc. or maybe you don’t want to deal with that and you are better off dating people from similar or the same culture and background.

Hell- some people don’t want to date people with mental or physical issues. Is that messed up? Maybe? Maybe not? Where the rubber hits the road though, there ARE concerns. If someone has $100000 in bad debt that is going to limit your options in life together and ultimately those problems of theirs influence your life. If your partner has severe anxiety and has trouble holding jobs ir can’t be in crowds etc. that is going to influence your life with them. If they are an alcoholic or have an IQ of 67 that is going to influence your life and relationship. It is your right to not have to enter into a relationship because you don’t want to deal with the complications or potential issues a specific person brings.

Now- not wanting to date a trans person CAN be transphobic- but not always. I mean- we can call it shallow but ultimately we are all shallow at some point in some way- but look… many men wouldn’t want to date a non trans woman who couldn’t have children. Many people won’t date people who already have kids. Are these things shallow? To some degree maybe? But they are pragmatic. Children and families are big parts of life and big responsibilities. Some people want them and are looking for someone to have those with and some people don’t want them or aren’t ready for them or don’t want to be involved in the drama or pre existing responsibilities and complications of someone’s life before they met like that.

Because here is the biggest dumbest thing…
If you are going out with them… you ARE attracted to a trans person. Connect those dots. Why the fuck are you going out with someone unless you are attracted to them…? You totally are attracted to a trans person or you would have said no unless you are running a scam or have no standards and say yes to anyone that asks you out.
Then being trans has nothing to do with it because you obviously found them attractive.
It isn’t that you aren’t attracted to trans people- it is that you don’t want to DATE trans people even if you are attracted to them.

So that idea is a bit absurd already. What else should you need to tell someone before you date?
“I have a small wiener?”
“I prematurely ejaculate?”
“My farts stink?”
“I am a restless sleeper?”
“My credit score is…”
“I have $X in assets/savings?”
“My family has a history of Alzheimer’s on my mothers side?”
List all your traumas and triggers? Allergies and health conditions?
List all your insecurities?
Is that the way we want this to go- maybe fill out a form and any time you’re interested in some one you give them your bio and if they are interested they’ll read it, and if they are still interested after reading you can see if you might want to date?
That could work but it seems dumb and like most people wouldn’t like it much.

You can also get used materials and finishings etc. often for very cheap or even free. The odds they will be exactly what you’d buy at the store if you had unlimited budget are low, but to point 1 about looks, if you are willing to compromise or even let what you can source guide your improvements and style, you can often do quality work that looks good and pay very little. If you have to have exactly what you want or some specific style etc. and want it don’t quickly and without you lifting a finger then yeah- instead of sacrificing in those places you’ll have to make a choice like what is in the diagram.

veneer. So that’s its own thing. Details- quality work like moldings that line up and things being square etc. isn’t always on cost. I’ve worked with or hired more than a few people who didn’t charge high prices or were dirt cheap but had skills and put care into their work. If you do work yourself, you can control the quality while keeping costs down drastically. So quality in workmanship is about who does the job and doesn’t always correlate to price. You can also consider splits- hiring workers for large time consuming jobs and then doing smaller more detail oriented jobs like moldings etc. yourself.

But this is part of why the whole preoccupation with who “invented it” or “thought it up” is often silly. If Newton hadn’t conceptualize dls gravity someone else would have. People often say in a moment- “you know what would be great is if they made a <blank> that did <blank>!” Then someone says: “they have that. It’s called a <blank>” sometimes people laugh after at the oversight etc. but that’s an example of someone independently coming to the same idea as someone else because they faced a situation of need and came to same conclusion as the “inventor” did in their moment of need that the solution looked a certain way.

It is a fun misconception in general. As though two or more people separated by distance couldn’t have the same idea. Only one person in one specific place would figure out pointy things are good for stabbing and have the thought to make pointy things to optimize stabbing.
Since physics more or less stays the same, most machines and tools for a given purpose share similarities in fundamental design. The most efficient mechanism or simplest or most reliable etc. will tend to be selected and that will tend to stay the same.
There are often differences in technology relating to cultural reasons or the materials and infrastructure available or differences in specifics of use. Rice farmers and wheat farmers will have some similar tools but the differences between specifics of farming rice and wheat will shape the tools of course.