The wielder is right to be afraid of the goose shaft. But the sword has no legs, so at least they'll be no goose stepping.

I wonder what the requirements for becoming one are, aside from being over 40 and single.

Can't quite make out what those carvings are supposed to be, but I'm sure he did his best.

Guardian of the gates to the underwolrd. (In this case, the underworld is a hutch rather than Hades.)

Medusa's quest to turn people to stone got off to a Rocky start.

Well, she's supposed to be a banshee, so I'm gonna guess, scream.

Not sure which is scarier.

Also known as a drat.

BBW also stands for Big Beautiful Woman.

Then again, it IS said that you attract what you fear. And I'm very scared of boobs.

The lily pad is my castle, the pond, my moat.

When they said their strippers take it ALL off, they meant it.

It's true. Why, I understand that in some places, the gov'ment even sends hurricanes after the opposition. "Concerning," as some might say.

I wonder if it's locally sourced.

No. It's actually in Auckland, New Zealand. His name is Dale.

Wearing catnip makes you shine like a beacon to them.

Also, it's Ep-steen.

*finger to temple* You can't have your dreams invaded if you never have any.

I don't actually remember what candy corn tastes like. Is it really that bad?

If you do, be sure to bring a treat.

Don't really play Minecraft, so I can't vouch for the accuracy of this meme.