I'd go for the grenade, pull the pin, hold the handle down, and just look him in the eyes. Then I mumble some shit like, "the voices told my dad I couldn't perform the purple spouse."
(Just show him how bat shit crazy I really am)
Then say, "you think you can kill me and keep me from dropping this... Mom?" Then scream freedom to Murray while running at him.

I want that last one in my bathroom.

This is dangerously close to a dad pun.

People keep saying this, but nothing is changing. I think we have lost the meaning of offense at some point and we have collectively decided that a difference in opinion is an offense. When, in my opinion, to really be offended means the other person must be intentionally be trying to invoke the emotion of anger or offense. Anything else is either ignorance, or just another point of view.

Maybe Carl is gonna come back and finish later. Like that's just the rough sketch.

Hard to believe that people are still parking in handicap spots in this day and age, to a point that this protest needs to be done.
(Side note: as someone who has never parked in a handicap spot, legally or illegally, I'd be a little upset if I pulled in and couldn't park somewhere)

Sometime you get a penis punch, and sometimes you get a twat swat. Just how life works.

Is this like the frog version of the Bible story Johan and the whale, only its like Skippy and the bass?

I gave up on music about 5 years ago. I just couldn't keep up with the new stuff, and it started to all sound horrible to me. I have become my dad.

I was like, "hey there's even a tinier plane in the bottom left, maybe the helicopter is gonna eat him."
Then I realized I'm an idiot and that's just a logo.

I've been looking at ways to make my xbox one portable. The backpacks are like 300 dollars and up, and I don't think this would give it the freedom to breathe.
But I love it for the classics.

This is exactly what I picture with I mastur... I mean, they must be mind readers.

I agree, when I mastered the art of knots in Boy Scouts that was the first step.

This is too much of a good thing. Like, eating ice cream then getting sick, or riding a roller coasters then getting sick, or having monkey balls in your face then getting sick.

Good God, it's happening.

This does not bother me in the slightest. I just turn it up till I can hear it.

God I need to know why!?!?!

Dude, money can solve every... Well it probably solves like almost... Okay, it would solve all my problems.