(Scowls intently) My name is Paul, (removes had grenade from pocket, inserts finger into pin ring) what's MY nickname? (Scowls intently)...

"Cop? Where? Fuuuu. Dude, dont scare me like that. Seriously, they are after me still for... (stares intently as though trying to think creative lie... ) speeding tickets. (Takes out phone and snaps guys picture). You may already be a winner... (walks away w/ girl).

Misha, I'm you from future, dont go home tonight. Busha found our porn stash.

Danged alien took ER job! Took-our-jobs!

Play Jazz, always play jazz. That way the coked up rats are happy and the sober ones leave you alone because they dont want to remember what it was like on the dust.

FVCK yeah, that's what we want. That's what we ALL want!

HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING IT OFF AND BACK ON AGAIN?

Trees like elm actually grow from helical strands rather than straight, vertical columns. I've seen root and termite damage kill one strand and leave the others spiraling upwards still green and alive. Terrible for tree health though, good for firewood supply.

So, the government also mandates this whole "no culling of the herd to weed out idiots," which i assume you also do not support. (Cocks gun and awaits reply to confirm stupidity of 'twit').

But baby, look around.. I am DAMNED NEAR the last man on Earth! What? Bring her too, I dont care if you have a girlfriend... hmmm, why are you kiss... oh, Oh, OHHHHHH! so um, hey let me introduce myself, I'm almost the last man on Earth and my specialty is making your girlfriend laugh at me. You 2 want kids with a sense of humor? Wink wink

Clearly you do not understand how organ transplant works....

... now imagine that all the geniuses AND idiot retards came from those same individuals.

But... everyone love Gar lick bread...

Hello! Where else was he going to find Hermoine?

I used to be like that. Got that way by having to adapt to always "hitting myself" at lunch and break. Yup, all the cool kids loved helping me "hit myself", and were super awesome about telling me to stop. Made them laugh.

Cubs & Mets tied for first place.

Anyone who enters a residence for the purpose of burglary should be considered potentially a killer. They came in with you obviously home, absolutely shoot to kill, they dont care if you're in the house and as such are taking the risk of having to kill you to get away. If they brought a weapon, they planned on using it. This is my argument for lethal force against armed robbers; if they have means of lethal force, they forfeit the right to deny it to their potential victims.

Regardless of it being over internet, wear pants. Also, bad 911 operators often forget to ask details so make a cheat card (driving directions not just location, medication taken for such calls, is it safe where caller is calling from, etc)

(Points) : yes.

Women just as horny? LIES! proof: I accept I am a 3 / 10 in looks, but no women 3 / 10 accept me. Desperation is clearly disproportionate to my side.

I am near tears, this is similar to situation had with female friend whom (upon a time, but more than once) called me to drive her home as was too drunk and "couldn't deal the deal with lezbo wanna be's but dont know it yet." Stayed night to make sure she was ok one time; almost got stabbed bringing OJ to her in bed. (Sigh) FML.