Bless me, sneezed.

Little do people know there are more options. You can be reincarnated in 5th world country, not speaking English, no money, constant threat of war, famine, plague, ... and only internet exposure you have entire, short, miserable life is when your picture is used as poster child for suffering. The REALLY bad ones get respawned in North Detroit.

Just 1 year. Is all I ask.. just 1 year of no punishments for drunk drivers who run down stupid pedestrians meandering while texting and struggling to walk. We need a new plague. <-- YEAH, I said it, we're all thinking it.

Uranium does some magical shit, but you gotta do a lot of alchemy to it first.

Tree blood

ELIMINATA ALL UNNECESSARY INTERACTION!

"Females grow manes on rare occasions." ... uh huh .. "FEmales... riiiggghhhtt. Nvm, in one context, Bible supports gay lion marriage and child rearing; in another its Trans-marriage / rights. Either way, it's Canon now.

He was a true man.

New sign at zoo, "If you enter enclosures with animals, you join their food chain. Whether it be above or below is up to you; but once you are in, you become zoo property."

Six trips to ER for frostbit nips.

YOU CAME AFTER ME KNOWING I WAS LEAVING IN PAIN... BUT DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE COMMIN' WITH ME! AAARRRGGGGHHHHH! POW!

Existence is spherical, it only has a point whn you are far away from it.

...all lowercase.

In a surprising twist, I'll... have the Kinky girlfriend.

Poland cat stands watch for either Germans or Russians to invade; caring not which comes first, only that they shall never leave.

My darlings, we must move to Utah.

We're going to war to save the (insert "victim" here) from the (inset common derogatory term describing commonly mistrusted / disliked "villian" here) and their (insert annoying / tragic event here).
We're going to war to save the innocent insurance agencies from the fascist superheros and their constantly fighting and destroying buildings in cities.

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Why?

At first I was like... thats.. and then I heard The Rick-roll.