Malicious compliance is the best compliance.

...you had better HOPE this chair shocks the hell outta you.

When God closes a door.. maybe it's for a fukin' reason. (God, stepping through door back into heaven; slamming it heavily. Sheer panic upon thine face. Archangel asks.. "Father.. what..." "NO!... spiders with wings...(oo') .. this door, stays closed .. forever." Archangel...panicked.. "...on your shoulder..." (00').

Steve!

Was going to say that piece of glass is a little dirty. Dang dude. Noice.

There's toy trains and Legos in back seat. Siren doesn't work.

Since 2016, I'm on my 7th suicide attempt which I call "suicide by steak". I just eat what I want and wait for heart disease. Unfortunately frequent heavy physical work outside hampers the effect.

1998.

Ain't nobody got time fa dat!

-i ... y'all get this.. right?

Amazon shopping "cat ears for guys".

It burns my eyes.

If the doorman's name is Heimdahl I'm gonna be super disappointed

This is the cost of stopping the nuclear missles from destroying the ship. Look nearby and you'll find pots of petunias.

Every car being driven or ridden in has a skeleton.. ... is just some are still meat wrapped to protect the interior finish in event of crash.

This comment was exceptionally well written and I nominate it for award and commercial value.