It's more of a parasite then a pest.

They must have gotten her pictures.

Don't try to jump when you got heavy leg syndrome.

To be fair tortoise does sound a bit like toilet.

His barber should share the punishment.

Get rid of both and make a new day called parents day. Everybody wins, but still pissed off.

The feeling of boredom comes from being in a rut. Try a new activity, go on a trip, just do something that lets the two of you reconnect rather than sit around the house watching tv.

It's an equestrian, flightless.

Grab a marker, change are to were, then tape it to the pole. Same message.

I like the other guys expressions. First one was "holy shit an alien" second "Holy shit he shot the alien" third "that bitch died quick"

Tried that with my cat once, they don't breathe much.

Thank you bot, I got a giggle out of it.

That is mean and you should feel horrible.
I also feel horrible for laughing.

Bird head, cat paws, and a rat tail. Interesting.

The toaster was an autobot sent to defend you.

Aren't potatoes in the starches, not vegetables? or am I an idiot?

Do politicians know anything?