— Joshary Report User
*drive thru 25 comments
joshary · 2 weeks ago
I will kick your butt so hard your vertebrae will come out 1 by 1 like a Pez dispenser 30 comments
joshary · 10 weeks ago
I enjoy alliteration so I always find myself saying things like "If you think I won't kick you in the cornea..." or "I'm about to punch your pooper WIDE OPEN!"
Another classic is one I saw on a post on here many moons ago: "I'm gonna pee your pants!"
simps 7 comments
joshary · 11 weeks ago
It's honestly really impressive anytime someone figures out a way to sell something to a group of people who will never need that item.
Ted Danson getting arrested during a protest 13 comments
joshary · 14 weeks ago
Isn't it already? Ha, zinger!
No, I kid, I kid. Honestly, I don't know much of the details beyond that.
Ted Danson getting arrested during a protest 13 comments
joshary · 14 weeks ago
No I believe he was protesting against new forms of fossil fuel extractions. They were there to say "hey climate change is real, wtf are you trying to make it worse for?"
Damn bro, nice recovery 10 comments
joshary · 15 weeks ago
nelson read, thatguyyouknow read, princessmonstertru read, guest_ ...goodnight.
No-egg sponge cake 12 comments
joshary · 15 weeks ago
I immediately had 2 thoughts:
1. That is so f*cking metal.
2. I pictured a little old vampire grandma baking blood cookies and cakes for the vampire grandkids when they come over.
Finally someone said it 26 comments
joshary · 15 weeks ago
Good god. What have we done? Rarely do mortals see the err of their ways before the gods descend upon them to pass judgement. May we all live through the inevitable shitstorm of words so that we may warn others not to make the same mistake.
I want to *** you 2 comments
joshary · 21 weeks ago
I read the 2350 and assumed they meant AD and that teens in 300 years would be saying yabba dabba doo, but then I noticed it says BC, and even after that, I still believe that's what they'll be saying.
An Iranian street (Tehran) 1 comments
joshary · 25 weeks ago
Woah I thought those were the Olympic dorms in Atlanta until I noticed the random mountain range in the background and then I read the title of the post. Strangely similar look for being halfway across the world.
Balls! 9 comments
joshary · 30 weeks ago
"...check your balls?"
"yeah I had to feel my zall sack"
I painted an astronaut that I’m really proud of and wanted to share! 4 comments
joshary · 31 weeks ago
I want to see the Paramount Pictures intro, but then at the end, this astronaut is holding onto the end.
My favorite flavor, salt and potato 2 comments
joshary · 32 weeks ago
Once you pop... That's Great!
Sydney harbour sans water 2 comments
joshary · 33 weeks ago
Spoiler. It's August 2020.
There are so many things to worry about in this world... Damn 10 comments
joshary · 35 weeks ago
Oh and each vine can grow about a foot per day, so it's not taking years to cover the trees and houses, it's more like weeks or months.
Polish kindergarten has no clue 7 comments
joshary · 37 weeks ago
I remember when I was in high school and I was watching the show in class and this douchey popular guy came up and was trying to make fun of me for watching cartoons at 17, and I said oh you mean this one? And I showed him a clip where heads are getting chopped off or something and he says "oh. uh... yeah that one..." and trails off before walking away.
One sponge 4 comments
joshary · 37 weeks ago
It's a One Piece reference.
Jesus take the wheel 62 comments
joshary · 39 weeks ago
Let me be who I am 21 comments
joshary · 40 weeks ago
Thank goodness, I couldn't sleep but once I saw there was a post with 15 comments sticking out from the rest of the posts I knew there might be a 770 word comment to lull me to sleep so I appreciate it.
I see this as an absolute win 2 comments
joshary · 40 weeks ago
Thank you.
90s girl thing - Denise Richards 2 comments
joshary · 41 weeks ago
Cousin Cassie. *Slow motion* Oh yeeeaaahhh.
Grab the popcorn 13 comments
joshary · 42 weeks ago
A lovely quote from John Mulaney: "if you're trying to decide between 2 bad words which is the worse word but you won't say one of the words, that's the worse word."
Leslie knope 2020 4 comments
joshary · 42 weeks ago
She does. You should watch the special.
This guy is my new hero ( dude from "My name is Earl" Ethan Suplee 4 comments
joshary · 42 weeks ago
Also in The Ranch.
This guy is my new hero ( dude from "My name is Earl" Ethan Suplee 4 comments
joshary · 43 weeks ago
"From My name is Earl" My God this is Frankie the Enforcer from Boy Meets World, ya fetus.