Butthurt is when your butt hurts. Right? Or no.

Butthurt^

And 100% metal \m/

It's in the mail.

Oh I see. Well happy late birthday.

You're calling me young? Haha how old are you?

I'm 24. 25 in March.

It's hard for me to do that. I try but I chicken out all the time.

Exactly haha. More people need to realize that's exactly what I am. And I'm incredibly unselfish.

I don't know. I think I might scare a lot of people away because of my size. I'm almost six and a half feet tall and I weigh 280 pounds.

I'm serious though. I think it's gonna take some form of miracle for me to find a girlfriend at this point.

And thank you for saying I seem like a nice guy :)

Oh you'd be terribly surprised. Lol.

If people who say that would date me, in the first five minutes they would realize what a great choice they've made and how great of a boyfriend I am. And yes I am tooting my own horn on this one because it's true.

Attractive girl: I wish I could find a guy like you.
Me: I'm a guy like me.

Ah yes as am I, ladies.

But there is also the weird scenario where the person doesn't know they're attractive and they don't realize that the person they find attractive is attracted to them as well.

A few species can yes. This is not one of those species. Let me ask you how deadly you think a big hairy tarantula is.

Venomous. Poison is something you bite. Venom is something that bites you. And humans have more appendages than spiders do. Think about that.