My step cousin had a barcode he randomly chose from a tattoo book. He said he finally scanned it one day and it was a can of beans

Ugh, I hate those little potties. We had one for my son and I hated having to clean it every time he did his business, and the backsplash when he would pee was awful.it went EVERYWHERE x_x. We ended up getting a toilet seat insert so he could sit right on the toilet, no clean up necessary.
@ title...I bought my best friend a painting

Probably going to get downvoted for this but a period shouldn't stop you from having sex. It's understandable a lot of people find it gross, but if you're both comfortable doing it it can be quite pleasurable for her

I cry every time

Lmao That is a perfect answer.
A couple months ago I caught my son blow drying his penis. He got out of the shower and I heard my blow dryer turn on. Him having very short hair and no need to use it I went to check on him. I walked in the bathoom and there he is blow drying his junk. He gave me a deer in the headlights look and goes "oh...uhmmm...." I tried to hide my laughter and said "You're cold dude. It's ok. Just don't hold it too close or you'll burn yourself."

My niece sent monthly portraits up to 12 months. They were adorable. I did this for the first 5 months then got lazy lol Babies change so much in the first year it's nice seeing pictures of their progress

Oh wow, I'm in love. Her hair is absolutely gorgeous. I want to touch it

That's creepy and cool..but mostly creepy.
When I first started dating my husband I had a bracelet made of little bone skulls that always looked like teeth to me. My husband was admiring it and jokingly I told him "yeah, I made it out of my baby teeth." He thought I was serious and gave me a very concerned look and probably contemplated breaking up with me

When I was a kid I would see this cute little dog on my way to school. There was a section of fence I could pet him through, then the fencing closed up. When I got to the closed section he would jump up and all I could see was his little face over the top. I started calling him Peekaboo. Everyday on the way home I'd say "Peekaboo!" And he'd start jumping along the fence line until I was able to pet him. One day he got out and found me at school. He was a sweetie <3

I want to punch that guy in his perfect teeth. In my mind they fall out Looney Tunes style

Very pretty. I love saffron

That's stupid and inefficient..you pump the milk then put it in your cereal ;)

Haha A friend of mine dated a girl like this. She found out I'm attracted to females and she started acting weird. I asked what was wrong and she rudely said "I know you like women just don't try anything with me, ok?" I laughed and told her I wasn't attracted to every woman I saw and that she wasn't really my type. She got offended and started spouting off about how I basically said she was ugly and how many women she had hit on her in the past...it was crazy. She was crazy.

How?..Does she keep her menstrual cups in the kitchen??

Bunged would be the past tense of putting it in her butt

It looks like there's a tag sticking out of the dog