For the past few weeks I've been trying to come up with different ideas to surprise my husband for our upcoming anniversary...I think this is the winner

Car 1: "We have visual on the suspect"
Car 2: "Dibs!"

My cat does this with my husbands work shoes. His foot stink is like catnip or crack for her

My husband gives me rocks and things. He gives me cool rocks, rocks shaped like hearts, sometimes a flower he saw at work, or little doodads. Just random sweet things <3 He's never built me a house but he's built furniture and a box fo said doodads

That's the best thing I've ever seen
My mom has a friend whos husband once told her to make an animal noise mid coitus. They were doin' it and he says "make an animal noise" She says "what?!" and he repeats it. She was a little shocked and all she could think to say was "Moo!" Her husband stopped and told her something like "Nope. Not barn animals. Like, wild animal noises..." then proceeded to make these growling/purring/roaring sounds lmao Now whenever I see her I quietly moo when I walk by

Ah! Creepy Reminds me of Signs

Aw, look at that foot popped out to the side <3 That is one adorable pup

*lick*
There's a guy growing crops on my property and when he was evaluating the dirt he had his geologist friend come out and look at rocks. At the time I didn't know it was common for geologists to lick/put rocks in their mouths. Crop guy left and I was watching geology guy walk around and every once in a while pop a rock in his mouth, or quickly lick it. I thought it was strange. Maybe something like vore? Crop guy came back and was asking what I thought of geology guy "is he ok? Can I bring him back?" I said "yeah, he's cool...but did you know he likes to lick rocks? Sometimes he puts them in him mouth??" He laughed and explained what geology guy was doing. It still cracks me up seeing a grown man put rocks in his mouth though

My husband gets nosebleeds year round and my son gets seasonal nosebleeds. It always freaks me out because I'll be talking to my husband or doing whatever and suddenly there's blood streaming out of his nose. Or we'll be shopping and he has to use his shirt to cover his nose..So many shirts ruined.
The other night my son woke me up complaining about a runny nose. Without looking I gave him tissue and sent him back to bed. The next morning I went to wake him up and he was covered in crusty blood, his face, hands, arms. His pjs stained, pillow stained, and a pile of bloody tissues in the trash. I felt so bad for him. I feel bad for both of them because I've never had a nose bleed and they seem so awful

Aw :'( I bet if the city saw that they'd remove it

He looks like a Muppet

For about 15 seconds I had my cousin convinced that chocolate kisses came from turkeys(because turkey poo resembles kisses). Babies pooped out little kisses and adults pooped out big ones. Then he tried to eat one but I didnt let him

That looks so fun! Unfortunately, ball pits give me the heebie jeebies because once when I was a kid I went in a McDonalds ball pit and there was a poop in it x_x

My husband and I have a couple of those TMNT jammies..Rafael and Donnie. We wore them for Halloween one year. Sometimes we wear them during nerf fights lol
And homemade vests/jackets made by grandma are the best. When I was 19 I pretty much only wore black. My grandmother made me a black glittery jacket with shooting stars on the sleeves and cats on the rest. I was so embarrassed to wear it but whenever I did her face would light up

...whoa that's neat.
This reminds me of a movie called Simone. It's about a movie director who makes a movie with a synthetic actress but everyone thinks she's real and he has to try to keep up the illusion