The new one's for marriage, the original is for divorce

I'm easily embarrassed and have been known to cry a little when people sing Happy Birthday to me lol

Mulan didn't go to war for the dick..she went to war to save her father, getting dick was just a bonus

The "Best of Craigslist" section was the only good thing about CL

I saw some of these at my local Safeway and totally lost my shit in the produce section. I was having a rough day and seeing these crazy pretty flowers just sent me over the edge. A woman who was standing nearby told my husband "she's so excited, if you don't buy them for her I will" lol

This actually worked on some website. I remember reading some lady was messing around and entered "please" and she got a 5% discount. After reading it I've tried it on almost every website I order off of...no luck yet lol

Here's the video of this...the tank is gorgeous <3
http://digg.com/video/underwater-waterfall

This reminds me of those old anti drug commercials..."before my sister smoked pot she was fun...now she just sits there..." and the sister is a blob sitting on the couch

And laughter in slaughter

The dog to the right looks wise..like he/she is going to give the new comer some 1st day pointers

My son does this all the time and it cracks me up. He'll be singing and goofing off, making some pretty strange noises, experimenting with what his vocal cords can do, then suddenly he'll go opera style and it sounds amazing. He shocks himself sometimes, it's so freaking cute

It's a wonder she got the pasta to cook. I got a box of dick pasta as a gag gift. I think it was called Dick n Cheese or Mac a Dick...idk lol Anyway, I couldn't get the pasta to cook, even after boiling the sh*t out of them, so I called the customer service number on the box to tell them what a funny yet horrible product it was. The guy told me "nobody likes a soft dick" It was the best response I could have gotten

Not sure if it's true, but I read somewhere that Angelina Jolie was considered to play the part of Trinity from The Matrix...super glad she didn't haha

It's a very nice sounding bird..kind of a weird warbling sound...https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cK1gaTqBRRk
Omg, slow motion https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PpkP8Jift4U

The animated Shrek may have been based off Maurice Tillet. It's a rumor that Dreamworks has neither confirmed nor denied. They look so similar though, how could he not be. The original Shrek from the book has no resemblance

That seems like a good way to teach your dog that the phone is a chew toy

Cats and babies too...any pet really

They look like they would be UV reactive. I might try making these just to find out..I wonder if they taste like powerade?

That females ventral fin is in terrible condition, looks like fin rot. They are beautiful fish though. The beginning's so cute. The male makes a spit/bubble nest when he's ready to mate. My betta makes them all the time, it's so funny watching him :) I want to get him a lady friend, but we don't have room for more fish

Omg, that's adorable. I wish I had seen this when my son was a baby. Is 7 too old? Jk I'm totally doing this if I have another