Except it’s a bearded dragon.

The video is so much better :)

I know this is an attempt at a joke, but the banana gives you healthy carbs and potassium whereas vodka gives you alchohol which your body turns into sugar.

Preach

“Yeh that’s cool and all, but I’m actually hungry.”

Or you could just fuckin say no.

I used to be a bagger at a grocery store and I’d have to clean the bathrooms every hour. My third day on the job, I went into the ladies room and there was shit splattered sideways on the seat.

Is this smooth Dwight Schrute?

Is it Woodstock again?

It should have been windex vs blue Powerade, since both are not carbonated.

Rip that legend

And that’s when you give up.

Oorah, Master Sergeant.

Or you could use a spatula and tongs... but yeah.

Jesus Christ it’s Jason Bourne.

I mean, the balcony would be too big in the first picture if it indeed was to scale.

Talk shit, get hit.

Moral of the story: Just say something.

Pro tip. Look the direction you’re going and people will move out of your way.

Pat-a-cate, pat-a-cate*

Amateur turned professional

She's saying why can't you guys be free together?