*pinches brow in Medicare*
(Medicare is the the Australian version of government healthcare)

He beat everyone to death in that tank with his groceries

Death fears no man, but Betty White is no man

adyo

God was screwing with you

No one ever got close enough alive to check

Looks straight out of a top gear road trip

I did the acid thing but made it say “pecan pie” for no and yes

More like a torture/reeducation camp for the Uyghur population in Xinjiang

Better still, don’t say anything to anyone that Bob Ross wouldn’t say

What the hell is coming out the first woman’s back

Don’t you love American healthcare?

Here’s the real question, who’s liver works harder?:
• Rick Sanchez
• BoJack Horseman
• Sterling Archer
• Malory Archer

Didn’t you have buckets?

We have plain clothes coppers in Australia too, but they definitely don’t have that bullshit barely visible thing, just a sticker on the bottom of their front doors

When millennials replace the boomers

Me: *whispering* tu parles français
Shop owner: you have lost hand privileges

For anyone who didn’t know (I didn’t either so thanks google) N.P.A stands for the New Peoples Army and are the military wing of the Philippine Communist Party, they are also known as the B.H.B (idk what that stands for) and have been known for their brutality

Wait... which is which

Why do I smell toast

Why not

Huh?

Please show me your email

Legend has it that there was only ever one in existence