Pros and cons about a friends dog
Pro: zero effort in maintaining but shit tons of fun and you might even get to dog-sit if your friend is on holidays
Con: you don’t get to choose the breed

Haven’t you heard of the Chris vault, they don’t need to hire anyone new, they just grab one from the Chris vault

Anyone got a link?

Cesar: *stabbed 23 times*
Cesar: IM STILL STANDIN

Thou= beginning of phrase
Thee= end of phrase

In the third shot Queen Elizabeth was like “ I can smell it, I can smell it, Oh fuck it’s horrible. Note to self, have that twat checked for arse cancer”

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear tu youyou
Happy birthday to you

Me: *being normal*
My brain: *sees title*
Me: Oh God
My brain: ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
*whistling*
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE LIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
*whistling*
LIFE IS QUITE ABSURD AND DEATHS THE FINAL WORD SO REMBER ITS THE LAST CHANCE OF THE HOUR SOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He had to sell a kidney to afford college

I don’t think anyone just hated Umbridge

Fun fact Admiral Zheng He was a eunuch

Wonder if we could put Keanu Reaves into this

Isn’t his head one super-long bar

Australian here to say not right now, the country’s on fire

Of course I’ll love you pancake

Dakota

The humane prisons are focused around the time in jail being the punishment, not the architecture. The primary reason they can focus on these really nice prisons is because of their small prison populations and high GDP

No. They need to keep going

Happy birthday Kobe ???? ????????

Why did the lollipop candy haves to be called ‘Sugar Daddy’?! It’s in the yellow section

To Ralph we are not simply Gods, but the beings that control what he would consider his creator

You know what else is addictive? Three words, ‘duel income household’

Cant believe they included my favourites:
“Double suicide”
“Overdose on heroine”
“Stab them 23 times”

Weird that they fell in sync