I thought penis-hilton was funnier than the post xD

I have a daughter?

Perhaps the clock is a lie set up by governments for the use of population control, everyone wants to save having a kid or something until they meet their soulmate, and make them wait a long time for a big lie. When in the meantime, you have been so blind believing that the people you like now are not going to be your "soulmate" and you just ignore everybody else and shut them out until it is finally time, when that clock strikes zero, and no one is there, because you pushed everyone away until you were all alone.

Illuminati

My dad had brown eyes, my mother has blue eyes, my moms parents have green eyes and brown, and my dad's parents both have brown eyes, however I for some reason have eyes that like to change from green to blue and grey.

Genetically, it is possible for two blue or green eyed parents to have a brown eyed child. Nothing is ever 0 or 100%. It is possible for two black parents to have a white kid and vise-versa.

"Pedophilia"

Kawaii!!!!!!

Only because you know that is going to be you in 20 years...

They never leave you alone, they say it'll never be over, but you say, it's been ogre since the beginning...

In that third picture, this koala is just like, I will fucking end you

I feel so bad when I become a puppy and break my leg and can barely run, I know I should be happy for the things I have but, I just can't for some reason

Since when have marshmallows been able to talk like that?

Oh deet

2.) What do you do if they don't' that've feet?

Don't inspire it

That is a banana peel

My mom just left me to believe she was drinking and driving my whole life until I finally figured it out

Towels are wet so they collect dust floating around, churches collect money because the government makes them pay taxes, water tastes like water, babies are not 9 months old when they are born because we celebrate the birthday, not the day they were conceived, if you drop soap on the ground the floor gets cleaned, you throw away a trash can by putting it in a bigger trashcan, our noses run because snot is coming out of our noses and our feet smell because they have a bad scent, you aw lying, so no, because the English language is messed up, the bus driver has a key to the bus and there is a tiny keyhole on the bus doors for when they are shut for him to lock it.

What do you call it if they shatter?

This is sad, the kid's parents on the left couldn't afford to get her in HD :(