I'm not sure what's worse, the joke, or the fact that I understand it

Idk, but I'm on his side

I use both interchangeably, so I can annoy both sides

Instructor: WHY ARE YOU REVERSING DOWN THE HIGHWAY!
Speedrunner: Oh, it's a backwards long jump, it's way more efficient

he's figured out where the ball went

i shouldn't be laughing at this, but i am

"If it doesn't scan, it's free!"
"You have a four second headstart. Get running"

hi

Gus knows how it be

Such wise words

gangbangkang

I'm thinking that they could have cooperated and then not had to strip completely

People like to say 'What three things would you take to the cashier to make them freak out?' Trust me, we don't care. What's that? Nail polish remover, a pregnancy test and a coat hanger? Have fun.

i did not know i needed this until now

deep

I hate this so much. I still upvoted, but I did so out of anger

We are cow
and when it day
and all the men have gone away
we do the thing we like the most
we lick the dog, is true, no boast

Deceptio-damn it, title beat me to it!

Source is from Ricky Gervais' book Flanimals

David wants to be an arsonist. He'll put out the fires he starts to avoid suspicion

This is the funniest thing I've seen in weeks