Simpsons reference. I myself sleep on a queensized bed frame with a thin single sized foam pad as a matress

No, I sleep in a normal bed, with my wife

and a machine gun

correct! i immediately forgot because I haven't sleep in several days!

the secret ingredient is crime

That...is actually a correct notion in the realm of statute law, especially if the wording is contestable

My desk drawer is overflowwing with various snacks, so we're basically the same person

that's a great Question