Lmfao unattended cracker lol

God saved Daniel from the Lions because he was pure and didn't deserve to die by Lions. That fool went straight up to them not thinking maybe God was sending him the people telling him not to do it.
It is like that joke.
A preacher was in a sinking boat and on the verge or drowning.
A man in a boat sees him and says he will help him.
But the preacher says no need God will save me.
So the man in the boat went away.
Another man in a boat shows up trying to help but yet again the preacher shoos him away with GOD WILL SAVE ME.
THAN when the preacher was almost completely under water another man in a boat appears AND STILL the preacher says GOD WILL SAVE ME.
WELL the preacher drowns.
He gets to heaven and sees God. He asks God why didn't God save him.
God tells him
I SENT YOU 3 BOATS!!!!!

It is EVERY KIDS DREAM to see THEIR SCHOOL BURN TO THE GROUND!!!!
Shit I would not be surprised if some whipped out marshmellows.

I would keep the baby and make his ass pay child support lol

This reminds me of a story lol
When I was in high school there was this guy who was supposed to be dyslexic like me but unlike me he could not tell time on a normal clock. He could only tell time on digital one's. At this school the hall clocks were all digital. So he was one of these kids that think they are hot shit when really they are shit. So he thinks he has the right to get up mid class walk into the hall and walk a few classes down to see what time it is.
So of course when he gets back to class his ass in trouble. He yells and hollers how he was just checking the time and he ended up in the office.
I worked in detention and I was in the office to collect the new students. When I get there his mom is yelling at the principal saying HE WAS JUST CHECKING THE TIME! She was siding with her kid yelling at every one in the office for not making each class was not more dislexic friendly.
Yet he didn't even think to ask the teacher what time it was.

Aww it's Lucas lol I love him lol
I have a friend who has MAJOR arachnophobia and Lucas is the first spider EVER that she can stand seeing. You just show her a stick figure drawing of a spider and she freaks lol but her daughter showed her this little guy thinking she freak out but she didn't she said he was so cute how can you be scared of him lmao

Wolf cub:"Can we get a copy? We forgot to get our Mama's a Mother's Day present."

The fact they are 10 cents a bag is bullshit. So I just gave up getting bags all together and I use laundry baskets in my car to sort and carry the groceries either to the fridge or cabnits.

Kitten:"GET!THE!FUCK!OUT!OF!MY!WAY!"
DOG:"SHIT! Damn you got mouth on you! Wait WAIT I AM MOVING!"

I heard this story before but the ending is different. In the one I heard the guy got a new rabbit and put it in the cage the next day the neighbors are frantically packing and moving and when the guy says what is going on they say their rabbit died and they buried it but that morning they went to take the cage down and the rabbit was in it alive so thinking it is a demon rabbit they are packing as fast as they can and leaves the new rabbit behind.

We killed my husband's Dad twice now lmao. His Dad is a piece of shit so he is technically dead to us. We just said he was dead the first time so we could take a vacation while I was in college. The second time was this last February so we could take our daughter to Disneyland. lol
I feel like he might die again next year lmao.
See he lives in Arizona so if we DID go to his funeral it be out of state so that is 3 days off. lol

Maybe he is just a big Dukes of hazard fan? lol
But seriously every person I knew growing up in the south the flag did NOT mean hate. It meant everything but hate.

That's not a knife
THIS is a knife!

No worse case scenario is burnt cookies

Stuff like this is why I don't think the kids should instantly go to the mother. Some women should never be a mother. But some men should never be a father. It is why when it comes to who a kid lives with I always said both parents should be tested on who be a better parent. Not just who has a bigger house or a job.
My brother had a kid with his girlfriend and she use to threaten to take the kid away if he didn't do what she wanted. He said why do you think they will give her to you? You are a shitty mom! (She was she refused to care for her own kid she left the baby in diapers all day even in winter. She left the baby in the crib all day. It was me who would put clothes on the kid and took it out of bed. It wasn't my kid yet I fed her changed her and cared for her as my own. I swear to God if the baby was old enough to talk it would of called ME MAMA!)
She told my brother she take the baby to Arizona where they put the kids with the mom's no matter what. She was and still is a bitch.

I keep ketchup packets in ours lmao

That looked NOTHING like the burger he eats on the show lol SpongeBob forgot more than pickles

This reminds me of that clip from the Winnie the Pooh movie where piglet is standing above a deep hole where rabbit and Pooh is stuck in the hole. Piglet has a bunch of small pieces of rope and rabbit asks him to tie them together and piglet says I cannot and rabbit says Not knot than Pooh says who's there and rabbit says angrily Pooh so Pooh says Pooh who lol
O I found it this is the one:
https://youtu.be/aMxcAaR0oHU

Our daughter is really into art and we explained to her if she really wants a career in art she needs to find her field and work in that direction and never stop. She is leaning towards anime comic art. I explained to her she could write and draw her own mangas there is American writers for those or she could just work for other peoples mangas. She also wants to be a teacher she was super excited that she could be a teacher while trying to be a manga artist lol.

awwwwws My dog Mia would of shown she loves parties