Seriously my brother who been married and divorced had 1 kid hidden from him yet he did know about him just did nothing about it had 3 other kids oldest kid had been married 3 times by time she was 20 and has 2 kids different dads, he been arrested 3 times due to fights had more jobs than I can count though he is 47 and now lives with a woman nearly twice his age, HAD THE BALLS TO SAY TO ME THAT HE IS THE ONLY ONE WITH HIS LIFE IN ORDER!!!
Lmfao all because he can afford 2 cars and a house that his gf owned before meeting him.
I who been married only one time for 15 yrs 10 yrs longer than ANY OF MY BROTHERS!!! With my 1 kid WHO I HAD PLANNED FOR AND HAD AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR A YR AND HALF!
But just because when shit hit the world fan I asked my aunt for help 3 times (yes I know three is a lot but shit SERIOUSLY HIT FAN FOR A YEAR PLUS!) I am a failure. -.- seriously! My other brothers either don’t have a job AT ALL, is a drug addict, or is an asshole who should NEVER HAVE KIDS!

Legit everyday I send my husband to work with a love packed lunch and he comes back with lunch untouched I KNOW HE ATE DRIVE THRU WITH OUT ME!!!!

I just got this look (-.-) from my kid lmfao
My husband doesn’t tell Dad jokes I do. My kid just said MOM they are called DAD jokes for a reason! You need to tell Mom jokes. I said ok fine Your Momma is so clever that she tells better Dad jokes than your Dad!
I got a UGH!!!! lmfao

Fuck yeah only way I see this getting better is if you got a fort as well!

(0.0)
Ummm...
(0.o )
( o.0)
Nooooooo.... I don’t read... I just...
I SWEAR ITS JUST FOR THE STORY LINE!!!!
I’M ACE SO IT DOESN’T COUNT!!!
*runs away to delete history*
.
Jk jk lmfao *wipes away tear from laughing*

Can I just say as a dyslexic person it REALLY pisses me off that more than one moose is not called mooses or even better meeses!

That’s how awesome Mike Myers is.
He wrote that movie and so he added that line in himself.
He wrote about a sex crazed pervert of a guy who had limits and knew how to treat women right.
He knew when a dirty joke would be funny and when told to stop he did.
Austin Powers was ahead of his time so it was a good thing he went to the future. lol
Honestly that line is why to this day I still love Mike Myers and his movies.

My family always called it cow slobber lol
My grandfather started it because he raised cows for breeding and he swore it looked just like slobber from a cow.
Now imagine being 8 yrs old and your teacher ask everyone in class to one at a time stand and say what their favorite dessert is.
Yeah I stood up and said Lemon pie with a lot of cow slobber.
Lmfao
My family has a lot of stuff like that.
Like we call Salmonettes Salamanders lol

In the original story it slipped off only due to the prince covering the palace steps with tar to make her get stuck so she couldn’t run off again like she did in the last party.
In the original it was actually multiple parties not just one.
Disney changed it to one night and no tar. They also took out the part of the step sisters losing an eye each plucked out by crows.

2nd grade before they knew I was dyslexic I was in class and we had to read out loud in groups one at a time.
When it was my turn this little shit said WOW READ MUCH?!?
So I said to him shut up!
He TOLD THE TEACHER and I got in trouble?!?!?!?!? Like wtf!
But that was the bitch teacher Who later in that year I threw up on her.

So I work for a side job as a social media creator for a local fruit stand. I created and maintain the website, Facebook, Instagram, and Yelp. They wanted to talk about what I was getting paid. Before the covid stuff I was getting paid around 300 a month it’s a small stand. Well we started up again and they asked if I needed to be paid that much I told them how much I actually work on the site and updates and such so they decided to up it to 350. But I said since you need a new business card for the stand how about I redesign one for you free so that way you get more bang for your buck.
-.- the woman (who is an elderly librarian) said o don’t say that saying it means more sex for less money.
Lol
I said o sorry it’s just an old saying my dad used to say.
-.-

Ok SO there is a YouTube channel that tells you using a computer voice what happens in movies.
Like it walks through and tells a short version of the movie.
But instead of saying some one had sex or kissed they say their hormones exploded and they hormoned together lmfao

Yeah history is full of stuff like that.
Marie Antoinette never said let them eat cake.
Queen Alexandria the great never had sex with a horse.
Vlad Tepes Never drank blood and he didn’t dip bread in the blood of impelled people.
Paul Revere never said the British were coming.
Washington didn’t have wooden teeth he had dentures made from animal bone and real teeth. He also never said he can’t tell lies and he didn’t cut down a cherry tree.
Benjamin Franklin was not this straight forward respectable man he actually was a huge pervert. He died of a STD even. So was a lot of the famous founding fathers.
Honestly I could go on forever.

I am on the fence If I get buried I wish to be by my parents and family.
If I am cremated I wish to be turned into marbles and give everyone I love a marble than place a marble at places I have gone and love or always wished to go.
Like I wish one marble to be hidden somewhere in Disneyland I don’t know where yet I am still thinking on it. See its against the rules to drop ashes but not to “drop” a marble into the river or hide one on the river boat or accidentally “hide” one in Mickey’s house. Lol
But also places like a tree I loved to read under in my family’s pasture. And one buried behind the firehouse in my home town where as a little girl I played waiting for my Dad to get off work.
I want one dropped into the Great Barrier Reef in Australia and one on top of Mount Everest because there’s no way in hell I would ever really climate should be taken when I’m dead is kind of cool lol.
I think it be nice to know I am apart of all the places I loved.

My kid sounds like a 1960s secretary in a room filled with other secretaries. Lmfao

It doesn’t say who to make the appointment for.
My Church I teach Sunday School at (well before this happen) has a group meeting once a week for parents who found their children are gay. It helps them learn what their kids now need and what to do when they bring over dates and such. It honestly is so sweet.
So many just don’t know what to do but they love their kids so they want to try to get better to help them.
My husbands grandfather the preacher of the church shocked the hell out of us when he offered to speak to them about no matter what they should love their kids.
It really shocked us because he seems like the type that be all THAT IS A SIN!!
Lol but he actually said Jesus said bring me your tired your poor your hungry.
So he will not turn away anyone who wants to learn and worship him.
.
Yall know how I feel Love is love and thats all god truly cares about love and be loved.

That awkward moment when his mistress who was his second wife’s sister gives him a son but it’s a bastard son and Anne Boleyn finally was willing to marry him. So the bastard son was pushed aside.
In fact it was purely due to the son that Anne Boylen’s sister was not beheaded as well with her sister and brother.
And his 3rd wife gave him a son but it was sickly so he pushed harder for a son.

They had to tell people something
How do you explain that if you are close enough to be in blast range that if you don’t die from the blast it’s self the radiation will kill you anyways but in a slower more painful death.
And there is no out running a blast like that.
It gave the kids and the parents something to calm their nerves about the chance of a bomb dropping on their heads and destroying everything.
Honestly it was no better than the tornado drills we had as a kid.
Face the wall drop to your knees put your hands on the back of your neck and put your face between your knees.
And as my Dad used to say and KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE because if a tornado ripped the roof off that room you just found your self in a vacuum and you are holding on to nothing but your own ass.

Lmfao that’s funny because my husband’s Dad is called Dude by our daughter.
When she was learning to talk my husband and his dad would say hay dude and dude this and dude that every thing started or ended with dude.
She picked it up that he is dude because my husband is her dada lol so the other guy must be dude lmfao

My daughter has Tourette’s and one thing people say to some one who has Tourette’s is have you tried not ticking. (-.-)
It has became a running joke with my husband me and our kid.
She would tic and we smile and say have you ever tried not ticking? Or tried not having Tourette’s? If you have it and don’t want it just don’t!
She tells me GEE MOM have you ever tried breathing? (I have lung problems) If you can’t breath just breath that’s all it takes.
For her Dad (he is balding) GEE DAD have you ever tried just growing hair??
If you are bald and want hair just grow it.
Lol we all laugh because it truly is ridiculous to ask a person with Tourette’s to just try not to.