As an Ace I’m going with goat life lmfao

Well not always true.
My mom worked in the mall in Lubbock tx in a dress shop. The manger and her got really close. She even came over for bbqs and such. One day a new hire left the till open while my mom was working and over 200 dollars was stolen. Sadly they had no cameras and the manger had to fire both the new hire and my mom. The manger cried the whole time she was telling my mom. She said I feel like I’m firing my sister.
My mom hugged her and said she understands. That manger stayed friends with my mom till her dying day. She went to my moms funeral even though it was 10hours away from where she lived. They stayed in touch all those years.
Sometimes you are like family and sometimes sadly their hands are forced by higher up.

It’s built in bunk beds that’s all. The place also has personal showers lockers and locked fridge space so people can cook. It’s a cheap hotel for homeless

Lmfao it looks like the m’lady meme guy shadow lmfao

It looks like the aunt mom tells you to go kiss hello

Lmfao I love when movies are set in the future and it finally arrives that date and we are nothing like it lol
Or they get so close but so far from what we have lol

*Busts in through door* WHERE IS MISTER FLOOFERS?

I expect you to respect me
You expect me to respect you
I think lol and that’s from a dyslexic woman so yeah lmfao

Aww congrats dr ew

He was trying to create another ice age and she wanted to kill all humans and have Mother Nature take back the world both wanted to kill all humans so yeah billionaire saved the day

My hubby was raised as a southern Baptist but he never read the Bible more than clips like story of Noah and the ark.
I read the whole thing due to being a Sunday school teacher.
He began asking me more about it after his grandpa passed. (His grandpa was the only preacher he ever had)
*evil grin* I told him all the stuff Southern Baptist tend to not talk about in the Bible.
One day I was showing him stuff about the Bible one day and i said hay do you know what real angels look like? Him> (0.o) what do you mean? I showed him pics like this and the glowing ball of rings and eyes and wings.
I than asked him “why do you think the angels said be not afraid?” He said all panicked “I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE THEY HAD WINGS NOT THEY WERE ACTUAL MONSTERS!” Roflmmfao

Nooooooooo I missed 711 AGAIN THAT WAS MY LIKE 4th YEAR IN A ROW!!!! Damnit

As someone who is a web designer and manager of the social media for a farm store I seriously do not blame this person. I would do the same if they tried to rip me off

No listen I have a cousin who swore up and down they have THE WORST ROOMMATE and how this girl was a slob never doing her fair share of chores always in her room when guests are over and refuse to come out. Yeah she didn’t have a roommate she went to therapy after having a mental break down and was given pills. Lol she never had a roommate. She didn’t even live in a 2 bedroom apartment lol it was a closet she kept claiming was the roommates room. Best part she SWEARS she met her roommates mom. My family loves to ask her if she still stays in contact with her old roommate

Ummm the USA been around 246 years

Ok so my husband’s uncle was a crack head. Legit. One day we see him in the kitchen he was WASHING OUR SPAGHETTI NOODLES that were not cook he took them out the box, wash them, than put them in the dish dryer thing on the counter to “dry”. He than took our bbq sauce AND DRANK IT and when it was empty (by the way it was an unused bottle) HE FILLED IT WITH WATER and drank that while sitting on the ground against the wall in the backyard. It was 2am. We woke my hubby’s grandparents to come out and get his ass to bed. -.- than the next day he denied doing any of it. We had recorded him.
Funny part my kid broke 2 his toothbrushes he had extra because she was drumming with them on the tub before I noticed her. He found them a few days after that coke head event. He said she broke them I said he did lol because how can a toddler of 2 SNAP a tooth brush lmfao he said I guess I did it lmfao
It was my way for making him pay for drinking my bbq sauce and washing our spaghetti and not replacing

My kid and husband want me to stop using emojis and memes lol

Note to self co write book with cats lol

Lol I just picture her going “I swear I’m the only one that does the dishes in this house.”

Ok so One time I saw these type cookie tins but they were in the crafting area. THEY ALREADY CAME WITH SEEING STUFF lmfao they cut out the cookie part I got so mad

I pay 86 dollars a month for streaming services -.- I admit I may have a problem but I share with my hubby and kid who is 15

The way I learned this joke is it goes the bear asks does shit stick to your fur? The bunny says no lol than the bear wipes his butt with the bunny

He should have “Ducked” lol

I’m going to be 80 in 2062 0.0