I remember my first job when I had Homecoming one night and I was scheduled to work and I told them I couldn't and I asked off beforehand and since I asked off they had to let me off. After that there was this time where I was asked to work to cover someone else and I said I made plans already and my manager said "you always have plans" and I said "I make plans for my days off" and he then said "apparently you make plans on the days you work too" referring to the Homecoming I asked off for.

I'm washing my hands right afterwards anyway so it doesn't matter

Put it on a sandwich

That's a very pretty bird

Or cocaine

If I saw that red door I'd probably want to paint it black

I just watched those 2 movies. They're bloody brilliant

Can we grill it?

My brother ran through a sliding glass door once. Just ran right through it.

That guy has all the right koalifications

They about to release the hottest album of the decade

Are you just like unloading in your blanket or something?

Boys support boys

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