Get in loser, we’re going to Kansas City

Thought he was jumping on the bed

When I asked you to come in and the food was good I said I don’t need to, the lie detector proved that was nothing to be desired in this case

8000 year old skeleton -> perfect teeth
25y old me -> growing sideways

I’m floor pizza

I’ll sleep when I’m dead

Damn, the Netflix app hasn’t even finished loading

Doggo has a strange look in his eyes

Curves upwards when hot and wet

@happy_frog are your frogs people?

@catfluff don’t you dare shit on that bed

*Salute

...?

I’ve used this trick many times to deliver court summons

The Space Jam sequel was cancelled because Jordan couldn’t make it as a baseball star

4K 120 or bust

Goddamit