You wake up in sales of a regional paper & office supply sales company. Your boss is Michael Scott

*pours salt on you*

Until the last black hole evaporates, and the universe becomes uniform, and time, meaningless

ligma balls

Spider-Man is nothing without an Uncle Ben

@famousone have you tried Spec Ops: The Line?

Bold of you to dismiss thumbs when your comment depends on them liking it

Also decent girls will tell you there’s blood in the pool before you jump in

That’s the grim genius of COVID. It’s just deadly enough that some people won’t take it seriously, allowing it to persist indefinitely

You’re not delivering on your campaign promises

Babe please stop yelling. The neighbors are going to call the police on us

Did something similar. Switched to engineering. It’s hard and the hours are long but the bright side is I don’t get the news anymore till late at night and by then I’m too exhausted to care

I wish that was true

You gonna sit on us like that chicken?