Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

Fire the LGBT ray again @catfluff

My bank must really love me because the money’s gone and they will not stop calling

Osama profile pic. ‘Tinderpredator’ twitter handle. Red flag after red flag

Excellent presentation

Don’t know about your school but that’s hella illegal over here

Hey I recognize that face. That’s Selena Gomez

I spent the night in a drunk tank in Danish jail once. Much nicer than the student hostel honestly

Here’s my favorite one.
‘Your mom is so short, when she opens her mouth you can see her butthole’

@catfluff it’s cool I’m negative

Willy Badonka

What did you go into your brother’s room for?