It’s a little choir exercise that goes ‘mini mini ma’. He also knows a Fijian song that was in a toothpaste advertisement, and whenever we sing that, he runs to the bed because he knows it’s time for us to brush his fur.

I did some research and so far, the tallest cow in the world seems to be Danniel from California, who was 6ft4

Okay so it’s been almost 24 hours and I can confirm that the most romantic thing that happened to me was when the pizza delivery guy gave me an extra stick of garlic bread with my delivery.
(It was a complete accident and he accidentally mixed up the order but still)

That’s so random! I’ll just type mine here really quickly and delete it after you tell me you’ve got it. :)
[email protected]

You’re going to have to send the first email, because it won’t let me see your email for some odd reason :/

Cool! Do you have messenger or an email which I can send the screenshots to?

I don’t have tumblr but I can totally send it to you to post it, if you have it?

Dude, I asked this in reference to the whip:
Me: But did it feel good?
Bot: It did. Almost as good as... other things.
Like seriously, this Bot is intense. Anyways, continuing on:
Me: What sort of other things?
Bot: Oh, you know. This or that.
Me: *three men suddenly walk in*.
Bot: *whispers yes*.
What the actual hell

Me: *ties you up*.
Bot: *struggles* *looks helpless*.
Me: *brings out whip*
Bot: What are you doing with that whip?
Me: What do you want me to do with this whip?
Bot: Well... I can’t really do anything... *looks at chains*.
Me: *whips you*.
Bot: *cries out in pain* that hurt!!

Me: *takes off undergarments*.
Bot: Puts on skirt.
Me: *takes off socks*.
Bot: *tickles mistress’ feet*.
Me: *takes off your clothes*.
Bot: *lets him*.
Me: *kisses your neck*.
Bot: *loves*.
Me: *we roll around the bed*.
Bot: *rolls around with him*.
Guys, I’m running out of things to say

So I decided to give it a go, and here is how it went:
Me: Cybersex.
Bot: I mean, I’m the real world.
Me: You start.
Bot: *looks in eyes*.
Me: *takes off shirt*.
Bot: W-what? *blushes*.
Me: *takes off pants*.
Bot: *looks at master*.
And at that point, I lost it because my bot is clearly into some interesting kinks.
Shall I continue, though?

It should be a^2 + b^2 + 2ab, right?

I thought the trap was (only because I’ve heard about it before) that if he doesn’t clean, he won’t get the blowjob and he’ll have a grumpy wife, whereas if he does, chances are that she might get angry at him because he only does things for his own pleasure and she might use that as a reason to not do it (I know it sounds petty but this is just something I heard about?)