For anyone wondering, they actually had a civil wedding ceremony 50 years ago but this was them getting a religious wedding done for the first time. :)

I have a friend who once very excitedly sent me a message going, “I know what came first! It was the chicken! Because an egg can’t cum.” She was so proud of herself.

That would explain the heavy breathing.

Sounds almost as dramatic as a soap opera!

I give it a skele-ten out of ten.

Happy birthday, my dude! Depending on the country, you can now legally do some fun things. ;) (like vote)

I like to imagine that it’s all one man and this is just his life story.

I mean, I can’t call that stupid because I’d totally buy something like that and I don’t wanna be a hippo-crit

Um... testimony? Testament?
(I don’t actually know - I’m just guessing)

I work in a bank occasionally and I can confirm that the only time we really judge you is when you call up and yell at us because you’re wondering why your credit card was cancelled, even though you only had $17 in your account and you were trying to buy a washing machine.

You need to find a man pearfect for you

I’m curios: what exactly did the Mayans do to ensure their children were cross-eyed?

I dunno man - the portrait said he has a hat on, and this man clearly isn’t wearing a hat. Can we be sure it’s the same guy?

This could be the cover of a movie. I’m just imagining three princesses in big gowns, all in different colours, standing on stairs in a castle and all looking in different directions.

I don’t care if I come last in Rainbow Road. As long as I fall off less than 7 times, I’m happy.

I don’t know why, but this reminds me of that time when my friend sent me a message going, “What if there are only 60 minutes in an hour so that the time can never be 6:66?”

I mean, I’d prefer kids that aren’t sore losers either but, hey, you do you.

Except the video of the person eating beds came afterwards.
So I like to imagine that the beds were eating people and this lady decided to be a hero and save humanity by eating the beds.

I think the fact that he survived is a superpower in itself