If someone cheats on you, their flaws include a lack of both communication and loyalty, which are very important in a relationship. If someone has this attitude, it’s proobably best that you dump their delusional ass.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat peanut butter again without thinking about this. And that, folks, is the power of the internet.

I would love to smile at people, and get paid every time someone smiles back.

Fake. Not even a muggle would sell it for only $300.

Someone did a cover of Happy and made it “Not Happy”, and this was what one of the lyrics were changed to (I listened to this cover so much that I don’t even know what the real lyrics were). For anyone interested, it’s actually done really nicely:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NO6yaHggPf4

When I was younger, every time I had sleep paralysis, there was a rain cloud that I’d see. It had a face on it, and it would threaten to rain needles down on me. As soon as I changed rooms, though, it never happened again.

For those wondering, the book is called The Witches of Eastwick and was released in 1984. I believe there is also a film based off of it.

Let her/him brush first, and see which one isn’t wet?

Wait, wait, wait. I don’t have kids, but I am slightly concerned about the Jacob who doesn’t exist?

“Let me guess what you’ve had for breakfast! Garlic and fish?”

Unless it was an arranged marriage, perhaps?

I feel like this show would make more Florida men watch all these whacky acts, and make them want to do something even whackier to one-up the last one, leading to more whacky stunts overall.
At the same time, though, it would be one hell of an entertaining show!

Literally the Powerpuff Girls are a more iconic trio. Or Team Rocket. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss. Harry, Ron, Hermione. Must I go on?

I think this sums it up beautifully. Yes, there are strong women now too, but there also were strong women in the past. Strength can be shown in so many different ways - hell, it might not even be shown on the outside. And that goes for men, too. A father looking after all his kids while his wife is in the army or fighting for her life in hospital is equally as tough. :)

2019: I don’t know the sound of my ringtone. No one calls me. And, if they do, my phone is probably on silent, anyways.

If it’s going to be $7, it better damn well be done professionally.

And who cuts the Alpha barber’s hair? Does he do it himself or... is there something more?

My friend wants to travel overseas and study abroad for a year. Her mum was super chill. But then my friend mentioned that she would need to be vaccinated, and, well, let’s just say that I’m even baking a cake to celebrate the day she gets those vaccinations!
(Yes, her mum finally agreed. It took quite a bit of explaining, though, to convince her that her 19 year old daughter shouldn’t give up her dreams because she didn’t want to upset her mum.)

Oh man, I wish I was there so I could say to people, “The weather is real shit today, hey?”

All things aside, there are some nice young people and there are some not-so-nice young people. There are some nice old people, and there are some not-so-nice old people. Just keep trying to be one the nice people, okay? :)

I had a dream that I was in the titanic in the middle of a river near my house. There was a lady who had hooks instead of hands and she was throwing everyone overboard. I wonder what that dream was trying to tell me.

We also need more people like the lady that helped him.

Yes but I also don’t want people to hear my plop.