Dammit, he would have made a nice pet

Make yourself at home
I ate a ship captain last week, I'm sure you guys will get along if he's still in here

*eats you without even chewing*

*taps your butt and aggresively pulls you close and wraps arms and legs around you*
I will now attempt to devour you
Any last words?

That's how I ensnare my prey
*makes a move towards your butt and hopes you don't notice*

That's fine
I'll just have to use some other tools then

Alright, let's see what I can do
*cracks fingers and points to the bed*
Take off your lab coat and whatever you have underneath, and lie face down

I'm good at anything you need
Does your back hurt?

Thank you yuki!

As a LOTR fan, that video was highly appreciated and truly spot on

They do, actually
Search for "Nemo Bruce attaque" on Youtube
It's right at the beginning of the video

Is it? I've never had ranch.
I don't dip my pizza into anything in general

I once saw a picture that compared him to Sid from Toy Story, and now I think about it every time I see him

Second cousins are still cousins, guest

CSI: Funsubstance

Indeed

Or maybe the stirrup hit her on the head

Peter Pan (2003)

Thank you, dear

I apologise

Indeed

'Twas I

I hope you'll be able to succeed in that very soon!
Thanks again for your time and all the helpful advice!
I'll try to enrich my vocabulary, and work on some writing techniques as well.