Girls: my Lord, please let me sacrifice the virginity of this young girl and help me defeat my enemies! We praise you, my Lord.
Me still wrapping myself in my old red floral blanket which has a huge hole on it but I'm too lazy to see back: hmm okie dokie.

Salty water is bad for my hair! So the knees are the highest point the water can touch me.
And it's not makeup, it's sunscreen.
Also sun bathing is the best part about the beach (although thank to my gens, I'm ran all year around)

Mr Putin riding the bear

What am I missing?

And how are you going to have sex with the planet?
If you meant fucking it then I say we are doing it pretty damn well already.

Just slap it!
That's how every parent knows if the watermelon is good or not, slap it!

Late state abortion

We only cut open small animals like fish, frog and so on
Nothing big like a real mammal (human for example)

It just feels nice.
Like I like to wear extra flashy undies under neat my plain clothes and think "if all of our clothes suddenly disappear, I'd look the best among all of these peasants!"

The vegans are going to get her!

It's best not to catch any of them

So you're entering someone while someone else is entering you, I say it's be fun

This level of caffeine can change your life
You either work to death in one go or just simply die of the shock.

I mean if you're fat enough, the kidnappers can just roll you into their vans.

That's not how lucid dreams work.
Not that easy at least

"WOW, rude"
It's not even a normal "wow" it's a "WOW"
The big O represents the busy mom who thought she got the high ground.

the fear of being forgotten is one of the most irrational fears ever. why? bc there is nothing you can do about it. even if you cure cancer, you WILL be forgotten one day bc mankind will too be gone just like you will.
Not to mention, you'd be dead as heck then, what's the point?
Just live and do your things.

i can hear these pictures and im very pleased about that.

i'll tell you this, his daughter is the cat in his profile pic.

phone: ting! ting!
me and my dumbass: OMG! he finally te...
text: you have used up all of your DATA, to purchase...
me: fuc...