Hell is earth and earth is hell livin life under a spell

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death; I shall fear no evil, for I'm the meanest son of a bitch in this damn valley.

That would actually explain a lot.

"Wait, how was I in Hell? We had garlic bread and chocolate milk!"
"What is...garlic bread? My Demonspeak is poor."
"Send me back. Send me back now."

Do I get 5 seconds to pull my pants up?

Girls: my Lord, please let me sacrifice the virginity of this young girl and help me defeat my enemies! We praise you, my Lord.
Me still wrapping myself in my old red floral blanket which has a huge hole on it but I'm too lazy to see back: hmm okie dokie.