You may be rich but you will never be as great and amazing and me.

This must be future me. Minus the girlfriend.

I ain't even mad.

Me too!

That really sucks.

If they tried to kill you you probably shouldn't eat the cake.

When my mom drives.

I have this planned out after an entire school year of sitting in the back of the class.

You just doomed your child.

I hear my phone vibrate more often than when I feel it go off.

I will snuggle you to death.

Where's the aliens!

I felt it all over.

My role models.

Late night tumblr.

"Who needs fighting, FRIEND?"

*calls police*

The worst is when you are out of milk and you just stand there like "my life is permanently ruined"

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do...

I would hire her.

Didn't see that coming.