Gravity falls has a fourth season?!?!?!

I've got the exact opposite, I try this with my girlfriend to be cute and stuff, she has insanely small lungs and I can feel my body going "Please stop!"

I have lost my girlfriend when she's out of sight and I can't slow my pace to hers... on multiple occasions
Also, short people, how surreal must your life be? just stuck in a maze of taller people's bums?

How did your teacher know this? How did you not hand in a printed version? How cool is your teacher for doing this?
Nah, too many coincidences, can't have happened.

Until recently there was a rumour going around of me and this girl being a couple. It's not just rumours anymore...

I used to enjoy doing that, I stopped when I started hitting my head against doorposts...

As a tall (6'9'') someone who used to list their height on Tinder I can assure you it does not work!
Like, at all...

King George or nothing!

My girlfriend has this rule where the dude has to be taller than her. Unfortunatey for her there isn't a limit on how much taller he's got to be. The fact that I'm 1'8'' taller makes things amusingly challenging...

What's so bad about going to the doctor's, ours just has a thing on his site where you can put an appointment in their calendar, no phoning needed!
Also, how is a normal monster with 1000/1000 ATK/DEF scary? I know it's the old days, but still

Fun fact, I've done that earlier this week, missed half a lecture to finish a lab report. When I arrived at the classroom I waited like a minute or so and then some girl walked out. I asked if the class allready had their break (we get breaks somewhere halfway into certain lectures) and she's like "no, but they wondered where you were." So then I was like "who am I to dissapoint my fans?" And waddled in, like 40 minutes late. At first it was all cool, and I made it halfway to the front row when the lecturer's focus snapped to me and she just played it cool like "Oh, hi Sirviantis. glad you could make it, you missed the kahoot" But there was like no animosity going on between us.
Yeah, my teachers love me...

I don't see why you'd need to get service at a gas station, you pick up a hose and jam it in your car. It's not rocket science!

I have a professor who has a reusable mug. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one.
Yeah, for real, she's got seven reusable mugs at the office.

I drink a lot of water and declared mysef a god a while back, now I get to preform faith healings and I'm sharp as a tack. Also I piss like three(?) times a day...
This post is false

Flies enter through diffusion, everyone knows that.

Funny, I remember pokémon games as having much better art...

Well, you need something to do on your trip...

What's the name of the movie, the one with the mask?

We could sell teeth-anti-viagra as dietary pills

Wait, how do straight people sound different?